


Silent Soliloquy

by Momus



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Fingering, First Time, Frotting, M/M, Masturbation, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:44:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momus/pseuds/Momus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kageyama develops an ability that makes his life a little harder each day as he discovers more and more about his team mate Hinata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write this for quite a while and only just recently decided to take it on. I'll do my best to update as frequently as possible, but I also want to take my time with this story and work on the quality.
> 
> I'll be updating the tags as I go as there will be some adult content in future chapters.

“Daichi-san!  You have a visitor!”

Hinata had been mopping the gym floor when a girl by the door had called out to him, asking to see Daichi.  She was still in her uniform, meaning she had been waiting this whole time until their practice had finished.  Daichi quickly wiped the sweat from his brow using the collar of his shirt, then headed to the door.  Tanaka and Nishinoya each called out teasingly, bringing even more attention than what was already on the pair and earned a stern, threateningly glare from their captain, who in turn guided the girl outside where they could get some privacy.

Their discussion was quick and Daichi returned, waving off any and all comments he received, but even after the gym had been cleaned and the group of boys had changed, all at once the team pounced once more and began commenting on the inquiring girl.

“Daichi-san!  Did she confess to you?” Hinata asked excitedly.

“That’s none of your business,” he replied rather curtly, his hands balling into fists inside his team jacket and casting a sideways glance to Suga who remained unusually quiet.

“That means ‘yes’!  Ohhh, she was pretty cute, Daichi-san~, did you give her an answer?” teased Tanaka.  Daichi swung to hit the back of his head, but Tanaka dodged just in time, laughing as he backed away.

“Tch, dating is a waste of time.”

This time, Kageyama spoke.  He held his head high as he clicked his tongue and resumed eating what was left of his meat bun.

“Haah?  Kageyama, you don’t really think that, do you?” Hinata peered up at Kageyama, seemingly hurt as he walked beside him, pushing his bike casually.

“Of course I do.  Dating and love – those things take away from the more important stuff, like volleyball.”

“No surprise the King would be so cynical of love,” mocked Tsukkishima as Yamaguchi giggled from his side.  The rest of the team seemed to laugh off the subject, except for Hinata, of which Kageyama took notice.  When the rest of the guys had split from them, Kageyama and Hinata walked under a veil of thick silence.

“Hey, Hinata—“

“You don’t…you don’t really hate love, do you?”  Hinata’s eyes were downcast as he spoke.

“Huh?  What’s with this all of a sudden?  Why do you care?”

“If someone confessed to you, what would you do?”

Kageyama stared down at Hinata, growing annoyed and angry as the subject continued, but he could tell Hinata wasn’t about to let it go, he rarely ever did.

“I’d turn them down.  It’s like I said, love is stupid and a waste of time.  All I want to think about, all I need, is volleyball.  Plain and simple.”  At his words, Hinata seemed to stiffen.  His hands clenched the handles of his bicycle, his knuckles going white, and his whole body trembled.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you?”

“You’re so stupid, Kageyama!” 

Before Kageyama could react, Hinata jumped on his bicycle and sped off, leaving Kageyama alone under the light of the streetlamp.

“…What the hell?!”

Kageyama stood utterly shocked.  Did he do or say something wrong?  He was just answering his question!  He ground his molars together, his furrowed brows staring down the empty road as if his anger would bring Hinata crawling back to him.  After a few minutes of empty silence and no sight of the orange-haired boy, Kageyama huffed and turned to head down the road towards his house, the sound of gravel crushing under his shoes ringing in the silence.

After dinner and a much needed bath, he lied in bed staring up at the ceiling, thinking back on Hinata’s unexpected blow up.  He thought as far back as Daichi’s confession, retracing over every moment that followed after, but he still couldn’t see where he went wrong.

_Wait, why am I in the wrong?  It’s that dumbass’s fault._

Even with these thoughts, a voice deep inside told him he was, in fact, the bad guy in the situation and that only made him more confused and angry.

_This is so stupid.  I wish I could understand what went through his head sometimes.  Life would be so much easier._

A cool, early spring breeze blew in from his window and he shivered, breaking him out of his circling thoughts.  He sighed in defeat; with no clear resolution coming to mind, he crawled under the covers of his bed, smiling from the warmth that enveloped him, and settled his thoughts until finally drifting off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day was a cold, brisk morning.  Kageyama yawned wide as he trudged along the ground towards the school gym; he had woken up multiple times during the night and when he tried to sleep, his mind was too busy thinking of everything possible from the time he wet himself in grade school to what kind of apartment he’d live in when he moved out.  Even so, he was more than ready for morning practice, even if it meant functioning on only three hours of sleep.

“ _Not today!”_

Kageyama stopped; a sound – no – a voice echoed in his mind and it wasn’t his.  He looked around, attempting to discern where it came from when suddenly a bright orange ball flashed by him.

_Hinata?_

“Kageyama!  I’m going to win today!”

A surge of competitiveness boiled up in Kageyama’s veins.  With a frustrated grunt, he bounded forward, his arms swinging wildly at his side as he quickly caught up to his teammate; any and all concerns were wiped away, replaced instead with the insistent need to out-race Hinata.

Hinata may have been quick, but Kageyama had longer legs and managed to catch up in no time, but again that pestering voice jumped into his mind, distracting him from the moment.

“ _Keep going, keep going!  Don’t stop, you’re almost there!”_

 _“_ What the hell?”  Kageyama glanced around as he ran and when he met Hinata’s questioning gaze, he quickly broke it and attempted to focus on their race. Were those words meant for him?  Where were they coming from?  Was it some outside force?

“Kagyama—you’re—slow today!  I’m not—even trying hard!” Hinata panted as he ran, but he proved his point by running even faster and pushing ahead.

“Ugh!”

He tried to pull ahead, pushed his tightened muscles as hard as he could, steadied his breathing, but to no avail; Kageyama watched with seething rage and frustration as Hinata rushed inside the gym before him.  He followed behind, just a few seconds after, but each second only furthered his anger.

“Wow!  I can’t—believe I actually—beat you so easily!” Hinata exclaimed with his chest heaving from catching his breath.

Kageyama growled, whipping his head away and fetching his water bottle out from his backpack.  He was tired, his lungs ached because the air was so cold, he didn’t stretch beforehand – all these were just excuses, he knew better than to express them out loud or he’d face ridicule.  In his glowering defeat, he thought back on what he could have done better so as not to repeat it next time, and it was during this reflection he remembered that foreign voice in his mind.

That was it, it was that mystery voice’s fault.  Had it not been there to distract him, he would have been able to focus and defeat Hinata like he should have.  Kageyama uttered a curse under his breath, earning the attention of Hinata and some of the other team members who were now meandering into the gym.

“Hey now Kageyama, no need to be so bitter.  You guys race every morning, just try again tomorrow!”

Daichi, their ever-reassuring captain, slapped Kageyama on the back and smiled, though it came off more as ‘cut the attitude’ rather than ‘don’t be glum!’.  Kageyama tensed and nodded, showing his acknowledgement.  Whatever was going on with him, he couldn’t let it distract him any further.  If it was enough to affect his regular racing with Hinata, who knows what else it might do.

It was then he remembered their conversation from the night before.

“Hey, about yesterday,” Kageyama started, but Hinata was quick to finish.

“Hah?  Oh, sorry about that!  I was just stressed from the long day, that’s all.  Let’s get ready for practice!”

Hinata bounded off, tossing his team jacket and bag aside before heading to join Noya and Tanaka in stretching.  Kageyama followed suit; even though Hinata had assured him everything was fine, he couldn’t help but feel like there was something more to it.

* * *

The rest of morning practice passed without any major incidents.  Every now and then Kageyama would hear a “ _yes!”_ or a “ _get it!”_ and he still couldn’t tell if these thoughts were directed at him or if he was simply an outside listener, but either way they were annoying to say the least.

The team managed to clean the gym and change in time for the start of class and they waved their goodbyes before separating.  As Hinata and Kageyama walked side-by-side outside the school, Hinata yawned obnoxiously, reaching his lithe arms high into the air as he stretched.  Just then, a strong wind blew from behind, slipping underneath the hem of his team jacket and up his back.

“Cold!” he cried, his body recoiling like it had just been burned.

“Of course it is, we’re just hitting spring.  You should have worn something warmer, idiot”

“Whatever, _bakageyama,_ you’re just mad because I beat you this morning.”

“Ugh, no I’m not!  Get over yourself already.”  Kageyama’s face twisted in annoyance, his lips forming a tight line as his eyes narrowed and focused on the path ahead of him.

“ _He’s kind of scary when he makes that face, but it’s also kinda cute.”_

Kageyama’s head whipped to the side, his dark blue eyes stared Hinata down in a mix between horror and anger.  Hinata’s eyes went wide and he let out a squeal as the front of his shirt was gripped and he was pulled off the ground.

“What did you just say?!”

“N-nothing!  I didn’t say anything!  Put me down!”  Hinata beat his fists against Kageyama’s chest and clawed at his hands, but all his attempts to escape were easily ignored.

“Yes you did!  I heard you!”

“You’re scaring me!  Kageyama!”

Suddenly, they were interrupted by the harmonic sound of the first bell signalling the start of school.  Hinata placed his feet on Kageyama’s thighs and pushed off; the force was enough to rip him out of Kageyama’s grasp and even knock him off his balance, but Kageyama quickly recovered and Hinata landed with a harsh thud on the semi-frozen gravel.

“You’re such an asshole!  Leave me alone!”

Kageyama watched Hinata run to the school and disappear inside.  He groaned and gripped at his black hair, his knuckles turning white as he threatened to pull out handfuls.

“I heard him, I know I did.  He was the only one around, there’s no way it could have been anyone else.  Unless…”

Before he could finish his thought, the second bell rang – he was late.  He groaned again and ran into the school towards class.  Sure enough, he was the last student to be taking his seat and earned a tired glare from his homeroom teacher while a couple students snickered.  As it so happened, the first class was a free study period, of which Kageyama was thankful for since he probably wouldn’t be able to focus much anyway; he was too caught up in the recent turn of events that had him stumbling at every turn.

What exactly was he hearing?  Were they his thoughts or someone else’s?  Did it belong to one person or many?  Maybe the voice didn’t belong to anyone at all and was some type of unknown force that had chosen Kageyama as the receptor of their thoughts, but if that were true why him?  What was their reasoning behind it? 

_Maybe it’s an alien._

He froze at the thought; he was starting to sound like Oikawa.  He disregarded aliens and moved on to other possibilities.  A deity perhaps?  A shaman?  Why would either of those have any interest in him, let alone encourage him during a regular race with his teammate?  Was this some type of calling that he was supposed to answer?   Or maybe he was just being toyed with like some kind of lab rat; first it was voices, then it’d be hallucinations, then maybe he’d be tested in some way where he’d have to prove his faith in humanity and protect his loved ones in a battle against an alien—

_Ugh, not aliens again. Stop it!_

His head ached, he was going in circles and wasn’t getting any closer to a sensible answer.  He needed more exposure to it where he wasn’t occupied with something else.  Maybe then he could identify what he was hearing, or _who_ , and derive an answer from that.

_What if I don’t hear it again?  What if it was a one-time thing and I’ll never know where it came from?_

His fists clenched at the thought.  No, he was going to find out.  No matter what the answer was, he needed to know why these voices were suddenly coming to him.  But first, he needed to fix things with Hinata.  He had let the stress of his new ability get to him and had taken it out on him.  He resolved to speak with Hinata before the end of the day and patch things up, but that alone was going to be a tough battle.

* * *

All day, Hinata avoided him, and Kageyama couldn’t blame him.  What he did was uncalled for, even  _if_ Hinata had said what he heard.  Multiple times Kageyama attempted to apologize, even made an effort to go to his class during lunch break, but was told Hinata had left with a friend to go eat somewhere.  It wasn’t until after school he managed to catch him, but only because he hurried straight to where Hinata kept his bicycle and waited for him. 

“Hinata, we need to—what the hell is up with you?”

Hinata was partially crouched his body stiff with one leg behind him and arms up at his sides.  He looked like he was about to run.

“You’re still mad, I can tell!”

“No I’m not, idiot.  I’m…t-trying to…a…a….” his voice was caught in his throat.  This was much harder than he thought.  He hated apologizing, but ever since joining Kurosano he learned he needed to be considerate of others and recognize when he was in the wrong.

His struggle seemed to show on his face; Hinata relaxed and cocked his head sideways, staring at the contorted expression Kageyama currently wore as he glared at the ground below him.

“You’re trying to what?  Come on, tell me!”

“ _You can do it, just spit it out!”_

There was that voice again.

“Apologize!  I’m trying to apologize!  I was an ass, I overreacted.  There, okay?  I’m sorry.”

Hinata took a moment to process the words, then all at once the tension from his body left and he released a relieved sigh.  He made his way over to Kageyama and slapped his hand on his shoulder, eyes sparkling and smiling wide.

“It’s okay!  I forgive you.  I know you have your scary moments sometimes, I was just worried is all, but I know you would never hurt me, Kageyama, at least not on purpose.”

“ _His shoulder feels tense.  This must have been bugging him all day.”_

Kageyama went rigid – could it be?  Had that voice he had been hearing all day belonged to none other than Hinata?  He had just been touching his shoulder and if he thought back, everything else he had heard seemed to fit into place if they were truly coming from Hinata, all except for…

No, it couldn’t be.  It was absurd, there’s no way.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?”

During his self-reflection, Hinata had managed to unlock his bike and was ready to ride away before Kageyama called out.

“Wait.”

Hinata stopped just as he was about to push off the ground and looked over his shoulder.  There was only one way to tell if his theory was true.

“Tomorrow, I’ll send you lots of tosses, okay?  So don’t slack!”

Hinata blinked a few times, then flashed a bright smile and gave him a thumbs up before speeding off.

“ _I could never slack with him.  I love all the tosses he sends me…I love him.”_

The voice drifted as Hinata rode on, but it was without a doubt _his_ voice ringing in his mind.

I love him.  I love him.  Those words wouldn’t stop repeating themselves and each time they did, Kageyama felt more and more blood leave his face.  He grew light-headed and even his muscles gave out and his side bag dropped to the ground as his arm went slack.

_He loves me._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this sooner, but I got stumped for a bit and kept making changes, and now I think I've got it all planned out.
> 
> Enjoy!

The walk home was long and tiresome; Kageyama repeated Hinata’s thoughts continuously the entire way.  The initial shock had worn off and now he was mostly concerned with how his feelings came to be – they were rivals in junior high, did he like him then?  No, probably not, there was too much animosity between them and Kageyama was…well, he wasn’t really the most amicable guy.

So when did it start?  How does someone fall in love?  Was it something that happens all at once or was it more like a growth, becoming stronger and stronger until you weren’t able to fight it off any longer?

_Sounds like a disease._

He scoffed at his own thoughts, but it was true.  Love was an annoyance and a drag; it confused and distracted people, made them do stupid things even if it meant they would get hurt in the end.  Kageyama didn’t even love Hinata and it was already getting in his way!  All he could think about was Hinata and his dumb thoughts and feelings when he should have been thinking about school and volleyball – he wanted it to end.

Sighing in grief, he eventually made it home; at least here he was free from Hinata’s constant pestering.

“I’m home!” he called out and received a reply from his mother who was sitting in the living room and folding the last load of laundry for the night.  They made idle chatter as he leaned against the frame of the doorway, talking about each other’s day and their plans for the night.  It wasn’t until she asked, “Did anything interesting happen at school?” that he tensed, turned red and replied, “Nope!  Nothing at all!” before turning around and running straight to his room.

He could have handled that better.

_Not suspicious at all, nope._

He dumped his bag by his bed and took his pyjamas with him to the bathroom.  Once he was stripped, he began running the bath and prepared his shower so he could clean himself first.

The sound of running water soothed him, acted as white noise as he scrubbed away at his hair, working his fingertips into his scalp as if trying to rub away the thoughts and memories that ate away at him.  However, like a wave pulsing onto the shore, they slowly came rolling back.

_I love him.  That’s what he said.  Love._

He couldn’t figure out how Hinata came to this conclusion; maybe he was confused?  It could be he simply mistook the happiness and excitement he felt during practice when they did their freak combination for love, it’s not like he’d have a lot of experience with it, right?

_Maybe he has been in love before.  What if I’m not his first?_

Suddenly, his chest felt tight and his brows scrunched.  He was…annoyed?  Did the thought of him not being Hinata’s first love annoy him?

“Ugh!”

In the midst of his thoughts, he didn’t notice the suds from his shampoo had dripped down his forehead and into his eye.  He rubbed at it, then doused his soapy head under the running water of the shower and rinsed out his reddened eye.  By now his bath was almost full, so he quickly cleaned the rest of his body then stepped into the steamy hot water of the bath.  When he was settled, satisfaction washed over him as he was enveloped in heat; he could feel his sore muscles loosening and he hummed in delight. 

But again, his serenity didn’t last long before his thoughts wandered into forbidden territory.

_How far does his love go?  Does he just like being around me?  Has he thought about…kissing me?_

He gulped.  So far, he hadn’t heard any lewd thoughts, but maybe he doesn’t think about that kind of stuff at school.  What if right now, in this very instant, Hinata was thinking something dirty?

_What about other stuff?  Does he think about me naked?  Does he think about sex?_

Whoa. That was a step too far.  Suddenly, images of Hinata in various lewd and erotic positions flooded his mind.

_Kageyama!  Ah! Kageyama!_

“No, no, no!”  He shook his head, slapped his cheeks, did anything he could to rid himself of these horrible thoughts.  When all else failed, he submerged himself under the water and waited.  And waited.  And waited, until his lungs felt as if they would burst before breaking the surface and inhaling a huge gulp of air.  That seemed to do the trick.

“Tobio?!  What’s wrong?  Are you okay?  I heard you yelling!”

“I’m fine!” he gasped, doing his best to sound as normal as possible.

“Good, then stop fooling around!  You’re going to make a mess!”

He heard his mother’s footsteps gradually dissipate as she left.  He needed to clear his head, get rid of all this nonsense that was overloading his mind.  After another ten minutes of a good soak, Kageyama pulled himself out from his now lukewarm sanctuary and dried off.  He smiled when he put on his clean pyjamas, consisting of an old t-shirt and work-out shorts, and took a moment to inhale the scent of fresh laundry, then dumped his old clothes in his laundry basket when he made it back to his room.

The rest of the night passed rather quickly; he managed to get his homework for the next day finished and helped clean up after dinner and before he knew it, he was sitting at the table in his room and watching old volleyball videos of past tournaments.  This is what put him most at ease; he was able to let his mind go blank and focus only on volleyball, soaking up everything he saw so he could apply it to practice.  Love didn’t make sense – volleyball did and if he had it any other way, he’d never deal with love again; but like all good things, eventually his peaceful mind-numbing volleyball needed to end.  There was no morning practice, but after what happened today, he just wanted the day to be over and settled into bed.

* * *

“Kageyama…I love you.”

Kageyama had just been in the midst of changing out of his gym clothes when suddenly Hinata called out to him.  He thought he was alone; had he always been there and he just didn’t notice? 

“Hinata?  What the hell are you saying?”

“That’s kind of rude to say.  I just said I loved you and that’s what you say to me?”

“Well, it’s weird!  Ngh!”

Completely disregarding Kageyama, Hinata pressed himself against Kageyama’s body, pushing him back against the wall and palming at him crotch.  At the same time, he leaned up on his tip toes and nipped at his earlobe to whisper hotly against it.

“What does it matter, stop worrying so much.  Look at you, you’re so hard already and I haven’t even done anything.”

“S-stop, ahn…”

This couldn’t be happening, how did things get like this?  Kageyama stood completely frozen and watched as Hinata dragged his hot erection out from his shorts.  His thumb pressed down on the slit and he smeared the bead of translucent pre-cum that formed; Kageyama shuddered from the spike of pleasure and subconsciously leaned against Hinata for support. 

“Does it feel good?  Kageyama, you love me right?”

“Haah…Hinata…”

Hinata pulled out his own hot erection and pressed the two together, moaning in the most erotic way that made Kageyama’s knees go weak.  He then wrapped his hand around Hinata’s and together they jerked each other off; Hinata watched his foreskin slide smoothly over the head, almost engulfing it completely before pulling back to expose the glistening wetness of it.  With his bottom lip between his teeth, he smiled and listened to Kageyama’s hot and needy breaths as their cocks rubbed against each other.

“Kageyama…Kageyama…are you gonna cum for me?”

Kageyama nodded and darted his tongue out to wet his lips, lowering his face so he could meet Hinata’s gaze; he was instantly enraptured by his big, brown eyes and couldn’t find the strength to turn away. 

“Kageyama,” he could feel Hinata’s hot breath against his neck, “tell me you love me.”

“Hinata…I…I…”

**_BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP_ **

Kageyama’s eyes flashed open.  His heart was pounding hard against his chest, his throat was parched and his forehead was damp with sweat.  Did he really just have a _sex dream_ about Hinata?  In the darkness of the early morning he grabbed his phone and shut off his alarm, his eyes hurting from the brightness of the screen.  He groaned when he set his phone down and sat up – it was then he noticed the cool wetness in his groin area.

“Shit.”

Hesitantly, he threw his blanket open and sure enough, there was a dark, wet stain on the front of his shorts.  He wanted to crawl into a hole and never resurface; he couldn’t face Hinata ever again, not after the indecency his unconscious mind conjured up…but then, he’d never get to play volleyball again, not the way he did now.

That was unacceptable.  Sighing in defeat, Kageyama changed into an extra pair of shorts so he could avoid any awkward hallway meetings and headed to the bathroom to freshen up before getting dressed and heading to school.  He was going to forget about his dream, he had to; if anything it was just a one-time thing because he had been thinking about the situation with Hinata so much.  Yeah, that was it.

It was another cold morning and, upon stepping out from the cozy heat of his home, his body tightened and shriveled as much as it could into his coat to maintain whatever warmth he had.  Upon reaching the gates of the school, he could hear a familiar, faint voice in his mind, but it sounded far away.

“ _Ah, there’s Kageyama!”_  

_Haah, Hinata…_

Kageyama’s chest tightened in panic as remnants of his dream jumped to the front of his mind; there was no way he could face Hinata.  Without looking back, he sprinted away, using whatever energy he had to put as much distance between them. 

“ _What the?  Where’s he going…”_

The more space between them, the more far-off the voice sounded.  Was that the trick then?  He could only hear Hinata if he was near him?  If that’s the case he was glad they were in separate classes.  When he could no longer hear Hinata and there were no sounds of footsteps chasing after him, he slowed to a walk and caught his breath.  He was quick to change his shoes at the entrance and shed his jacket, even managed to make it early to class, which he didn’t mind too much since he was late yesterday and needed to make up for it.  Soon enough, other students poured into the room, a couple of his friends he sometimes spoke to made idle chatter with him about their upcoming weekend plans and as usual, he said he was going to be too busy practicing to join any of them.  When the bell for lunch rang, Kageyama opted to stay in his classroom to eat, less chance of running into Hinata that way.

Or so he thought.

“Kageyama, Hinata’s at the door for you.”

His classmate called to him and sure enough, Hinata stood at the doorway waving excitedly to him, his big stupid grin plastered on his face like seeing Kageyama was the best thing in the world. 

_I love you, Kageyama.  Haah, haah!_

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath.

_Get out, get out, get out!  Stop thinking about it!_

Kageyama couldn’t even look at Hinata without that stupid dream coming back to him, he needed to send him away.  Rising from his chair, he quickly tried to think of something as he made his way over.

“What do you want?”

“Let’s eat lunch together!  It’s so sunny out, it’ll be nice and warm.”  His round, doe-like eyes stared up at him, mimicking the way they looked in his dream when he was--

“N-no!  I can’t.  I want to try and get some studying done over lunch break.”  Shit, this was bad.

“Aw!  Leave that for after school, we haven’t eaten together in a while!” whined Hinata.

“We ate lunch together on Monday!” Kageyama gritted his teeth.  His blood was boiling in his veins, partly from the sheer embarrassment he felt and because he was angry at himself for not being able to think of a better excuse.

“Is it that big of a deal?  It’s just lunch…”

“ _I miss him so much.”_

“Ugh…” How annoying, there was no denying him now, “Fine, I’ll grab my lunch.”

“Yeah!”

* * *

Kageyama brooded and kept his head low while Hinata skipped ahead, singing some tune about the weather, the grass, bugs…well, everything really. They went ahead to one of their favorite spots, a large ginkgo tree near the baseball diamond.  Kageyama took a spot in the shade and Hinata sat against the tree just around the edge, soaking up the sunlight and sighing from the immediate warmth he felt.

“So sunny!  Hey, Kageyama, what did you get for lunch?”

“Ah, just leftover yakisoba from last night.” Kageyama had calmed down somewhat now that he wasn’t looking at Hinata anymore.  It was those damn eyes that seemed to spark his memories.

“Oh!  I like yakisoba, but it’s not nearly as good as curry.  Do you like curry?”

Kageyama hummed in response as he unpacked his soup bowl, “Yeah, but with an egg on top”.

“ _Oh!  He likes curry, just like me.  I wish I could make it for him one day.”_

Kageyama choked on his first mouthful of food, which Hinata paid no mind to.

“Hm, I don’t mind it with egg, but I really love it with sauce.  Lots and lots of sauce!  Like a river!  Oh, that reminds me, did I tell you what Natsu did last night?”  Hinata leaned in around the corner of the tree and Kageyama reflexively pulled away in hopes Hinata wouldn’t see his beet red face.

“How does curry remind you of Natsu?” he asked, keeping his focus on his noodles.

“I don’t know, home stuff!  Anyway.”

“ _He’s so cute.”_

_“His hair looks so soft, I kind of want to touch it.”_

_“I wish I could sit closer to him.  I bet he’s warm, really warm.  He’d be nice to cuddle on cold days like this.”_

_“He’s big, too, I bet his arms would wrap around me and hold me close, like a big cozy blanket fresh out of the dryer.”_

_“This is so nice.  I never want this to end.”_

“This is so wrong…” Kageyama whispered.  He could feel his face growing hotter and hotter with each passing thought.  Where was this all coming from?!  He didn’t even notice he had stopped eating, or that he had even said such a thing out loud.

“Huh?  What’s so wrong Kageyama?”

For the first time, Kageyama met Hinata’s gaze. None of those dirty thoughts came surging forward, thankfully, but Kageyama was guilt-ridden.  His gut churned and flipped each time Hinata’s most secret thoughts poured into his mind – it was wrong for him to be listening to these, they weren’t meant to be heard. 

_This isn’t right, I need to tell him.  Maybe if he knows it will all end.  But what if he never talks to me again?  What if we can’t play volleyball together anymore?  What if—_

“Hm?”

Hinata’s attention was momentarily diverted by a high-pitched ‘ding’ sound; he looked away from Kageyama and pulled his cell phone out from the pocket of his sweater.  He was silent for a few seconds, and then…

“ _Oh no…”_

Kageyama’s ears perked, his eyes widening in interest as he glanced at Hinata.  Minus his thoughts, Hinata was unusually quiet.

“ _She can’t be sick, she can’t.  Oh god, oh god…please let Aunty be okay.”_

_What the hell is going on?_

“Hinata, what’s up?   You’re quiet.”

Breaking out from his daze, Hinata flipped is phone shut and tucked it away.

“Ah, sorry!  Just a little distracted. I have to go to the store after school so…so I can’t walk home with you today.”

_An errand?  What the hell is he doing, lying to me like that._

_“_ Are you sure that’s all?”

“Yeah, of course!  What else would there be?” Hinata flashed Kageyama his usual bright smile, then resumed eating his lunch. 

Kageyama sat in shock – he was angry.  No, more than angry, he was _furious._ He could feel his upper lip curling and his brows furrowing so tightly it almost hurt; something was clearly wrong and he was outright hiding it!  Why wouldn’t he tell him? 

“Hinata, you!—“

Acting on impulse, he turned to confront Hinata, although he wasn’t sure what he could say without exposing himself, but just as he did he stopped; Hinata’s usual sickeningly sweet smile was no longer there, the sparkle in his eyes had faded, and his normally expressive self was exponentially diminished.  It was so unlike him, so…wrong, Kageyama couldn’t stand it; but as Hinata reacted to his voice, he leaned away and his eyes went wide with worry.

“Whaa!  What did I do now?!”

Kageyama’s jaw hurt from how tightly it clenched, but even with his overflowing anger he couldn’t bring himself to take it out on Hinata.  Whatever was wrong, he wasn’t ready to share it; maybe he couldn’t or he didn’t want to, but either way it wasn’t Kageyama’s business.

_But what about my mind-reading thing?_

That would have to wait.  Hinata was going through something serious, he didn’t need this kind of drama right now, he needed someone to lean on in case things got rough and Kageyama was going to be there for him.  Releasing a long sigh, he visibly deflated.

“Nothing, I just…” _Be supportive, be supportive._

 _“_ I just want to say…I…I want to keep playing volleyball with you, so you better keep up with me so we can go to nationals someday, got it?”

_That was good!  Yeah, he’ll like that, right?_

He watched Hinata’s face, watched as his the usual fire ignited in his eyes and the glow in his cheeks resurfaced, and then…

“Pfft!!  Wow, I can’t believe you just said that!”  Hinata broke out into a roaring laughter, clasping one hand over his stomach while the other covered his mouth.

 “Geeze, I didn’t think eating lunch would make you so sentimental!”

Kageyama stared in disbelief; wasn’t he supposed to be in love with him?  Why was he laughing?

“ _I can’t believe it, what a loser.  God I love him.”_

This was way too complicated.  Kageyama officially hated love.

“Shut up, dumbass.  Lunch is almost over, hurry up and eat.”

“Right, right.”

In between slurps and the sounds of chewing, Kageyama could hear Hinata’s soft laughter bubble up.  It irritated him to be made fun of, but at least Hinata was laughing again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't proofread like the others, so it might not be as good / there might be a couple mistakes. Feel free to leave any feedback!

“Hinata!”

“Got it!”

Hinata’s sneakers squeaked against the hardwood floor as he dashed to the right side of the net, then again when he jumped to meet the ball and…

“Agh!”

Missed again.  He crashed, his entire right side meeting the floor with a harsh thud.  Suga and Noya rushed over to help him up and Kageyama followed behind to assess the damage.  Luckily there was none, his shoulder would probably just be sore for a couple days.

“I’m sorry, Kageyama, I’m trying!”

“Tch, well try harder!”

All morning, Hinata had been practicing the straight spikes Kageyama had shown him, but each time he took his eyes off the ball to look for an opening he’d lose his focus and miss the shot.  Kageyama was growing more and more annoyed with each miss; why couldn’t he just get it?  It’s not like he was watching the ball to begin with when they did their quick combo!  He showed him numerous times, but no matter what, Hinata couldn’t land the spike.

“Break time!  We’ll switch to receiving after,” called Coach Ukai and every one headed to the side of the gym for a water break and to cool off.

Ever since lunch two days ago, Kageyama had been doing his best to keep Hinata happy while he dealt with whatever what was happening with his aunt.  Anytime he had a negative thought or his smile had faded to that heart wrenching frown, Kageyama would butt in and did what he could to break him from that daze.  Even when Hinata forgot his bento at home the day after, Kageyama split his own to make sure he didn’t go hungry.  However, this was all new to Kageyama, this whole…being nice and considerate to others, so even when he thought he was doing something right, it sometimes ended badly, like how he forgot Hinata didn’t like spicy food until he took a bite of his spicy pork curry and scolded Kageyama for forgetting.  At least he was trying.

During their break, Hinata immediately went to his cell phone.  Kageyama watched him from the corner of his eye; he had that forlorn look again, something was wrong.

“ _Still no news from Mom.  I wonder how Aunty is doing.”_

“Hinata, uh…”  _Shit, what should I say?_

Hinata perked up and his eyes went wide.  Tucking his phone away in his backpack, he stood up straight and bowed to Kageyama.

“I’m sorry!  I’ll do my best to get the spike, I promise!”

“Don’t bow to me, it’s weird!  Just—“ _Right, I’m supposed to be supportive.  Uh…_ “J-j-just, keep trying okay?  You’ll get it.”

Hinata looked to him with a puzzled expression, “Are you okay?  That was…weirdly nice of you to say.”

“Yeah, Kageyama, what’s gotten into you today?”  Tanaka spoke up from behind him, his hands on his waist as he leaned forward and examined Kageyama’s face, “You’re not getting sick are you?”

“I am not!  I’m just trying to be nice!”

“Hah!  Well, maybe you should ‘just try harder’!”  Tanaka threw his head back and laughed obnoxiously and Noya joined in with him.  If Kageyama listened closely, he could even hear Suga and Daichi chuckling away at his expense. 

Some days it was a battle to make it through practice.

“Come on, break’s over!  Time to practice receives!”

The group popped their water bottles closed and got into a straight line that went from the back of the court to the middle.  Ukai would hit spikes to various spots on the court and the player at the front of the line would have to receive it.  If they were successful, the ball would hit back to Ukai and he’d spike to the next person.

“ _Come on, you can do it Hinata.  Just go to wherever the ball goes and hit it!”_

Kageyama stood behind Hinata anxiously; Hinata still needed a lot of work with his receives, he hoped today he’d make some headway.  Ukai threw the ball up, jumped, and spiked.  It went a little far to the left side of the court, but Hinata went at it anyway.  He dove just as the ball hit the court line, barely missing it.

“Damn, sorry Hinata!  Bad spike!”

“Don’t mind!  It’s fine!” he pushed himself up from the floor and took his position at the front of the line after passing the ball back to the coach.

“ _Shit!  I couldn’t even get that one!  I’m so useless today, why am I even here?”_

Kageyama caught his breath – what did he just hear?  That wasn’t like Hinata at all, he’s never been so negative on himself.

_Or maybe he has and he’s just never shown it._

He scowled at the thought, was Hinata always this hard on himself?  It wasn’t right.  Sure he had some work to do, but that was natural for someone with so little experience.  Kageyama needed to step in.

“Hinata,” he said softly next to his ear, his hand resting on Hinata’s shoulder, “don’t tense up, okay?  If your body is relaxed, you’ll be able to move faster and jump farther.  And remember to keep your legs spread and arms taught, just like how I showed you before.”

“Ah…y-yeah, thanks!  I’ll do my best.”

“ _He’s so close!  I can’t focus!”_

Kageyama abruptly pulled away and rubbed the back of his neck – he didn’t mean to do that to him!

“Ready, Hinata?” Coach Ukai called from the opposite side.

“Ready!”  He inhaled deeply, then exhaled, shaking the tension from his body.

“ _I can do this.  Kageyama believes in me.”_

Kageyama did his best not to react, but he couldn’t stop the faint flush of pink that decorated his cheeks.  Ukai spiked, Hinata chased after it and this time he met the ball head on, legs spread apart just like he was told, arms held out – the perfect form.

“Nice receive, Hinata!” yelled Noya.  Hinata jumped and threw his fist into the air then turned to look over his shoulder at Kageyama.

“Did you see?  I got it!”

Kageyama smirked, his hands on his hips as he shifted his weight to his other foot, “I already knew you would, you just needed a push and that’s what I’m here for.”

“ _How can he say stuff like that so casually?  I’m gonna die!”_

“Right!” Hinata ducked his head so no one could see the deep red blush that took over his face, but Kageyama managed to sneak a peek just before he disappeared to the back of the line.  Did his words always affect Hinata this way? 

After the receiving exercise, the team spent the last hour practicing serves before doing their cool down stretches.  Coach Ukai gave a final pep talk about the upcoming training camp week while they stretched, and then everyone was free for the day.

“Kageyama, thanks for what you said before while we were practicing.”

“Huh?  Oh, it’s fine,” he answered nonchalantly, not even bothering to look at Hinata as he spoke.

“It’s not fine!  It really meant a lot to me!  Sometimes I get so frustrated, but you were there to-“

“I said it’s fine!” Kageyama turned away.  It really wasn’t that big of a deal, why did Hinata have to make it such an issue?

“Why are you so stubborn!?  Let me thank you properly!” Hinata left his bike to fall on its side and jumped in front of Kageyama, stopping him in his tracks.  He halted, his blue eyes narrowing as if challenging the smaller boy.

“I’m stubborn?!  You’re more stubborn than me!” he roared, but Hinata didn’t flinch.  Instead, he jumped at Kageyama, hands up and fingers curled like a wild animal going in for the kill.  Kageyama reacted just in time, catching his hands with his own, locking their fingers together and pushing against one another.  Both of them reached back with one foot to gain more leverage, but as hard as Hinata tried, Kageyama was making headway and forcing him to lean backwards as he pushed.

“Just let me say it!  THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME TODAY!”

“YOU’RE WELCOME!”

Silence fell, broken by the sounds of them straining to overcome the other.  Wait, why were they fighting?

“Why are we still doing this??” asked Kageyama.

“I don’t know!  But I’m not backing down!” responded Hinata through clenched teeth; his strength was faltering.

“Tch!  Neither am I!” Kageyama pushed harder and Hinata strained to keep him back.  By now, Kageyama was almost hovering over him, their eyes locked on each other as they battled.  Suddenly, a harmonic chime rang and Hinata’s challenging gaze broke, all hostility draining from him.

“Wait, that’s my phone!  It’s probably my mom.”

Kageyama backed off and the pair relaxed, acting as if nothing happened.  Hinata quickly read over the text; Kageyama turned his gaze away, but he could tell it wasn’t anything good even before Hinata’s thoughts flooded his mind.

“ _Aunty’s at home today with Mom.  I don’t want to go home, they’re just gonna talk about it…I wish I didn’t have to go home.”_

Kageyama’s chest ached for Hinata.  He didn’t know what it was like to have a sick relative, but it clearly affected Hinata to the point where he couldn’t even focus on volleyball properly; he wanted to help him, but he couldn’t be obvious about it.  This was tough.

“Is, uh, everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.  She’s just checking up on me, asking what I want for dinner,” he answered bluntly, his affect was somber.  It was unsettling to Kageyama.

_Stop lying to me!  Shit, what am I going to do?_

“Oh, good.  Um…” _Wait, tomorrow’s Sunday isn’t it? “_ I was wondering.  Uh, today’s Saturday and…well, I got this new game and my mom is making ramen tonight and, uh…I was thinking maybe you could come over.”

“Really?!”  Hinata flicked his face upwards, eyes glistening, his wide smile erasing all traces of sadness from his face; this expression suited him much better.

“Yeah, my mom won’t mind, she likes company.  Um, you can even stay the night if you want.”

“Ah!!  Let me ask my mom!”

His thumbs flew over the keyboard and surprisingly, his mom was quick to answer; the giddy smile on his face was the only answer Kageyama needed.

_Saved it.  He should be okay now._ Kageyama’s pride erupted inside him, it seemed he was starting to get the hang of this.

“She said ‘yes’!  I live a little far from you though, is it okay if I go get my stuff and then meet you at your place?”

Kageyama scoffed and reached for Hinata’s head, giving his hair a shake, “Duh, dumbass.  Not like I’m going to let you use my toothbrush.”

Hinata smiled then waved goodbye, jumping on his bike and heading in the direction of his house.

“ _I can’t wait!  I’m going to spend the night at Kageyama’s place, just the two of us!”_

_Oh shit._

Somehow, he had completely forgotten about Hinata’s crush on him and realized he was in store for a very, _very,_ awkward night.

* * *

When Kageyama made it home, he informed his mother of the impending company (to which she seemed a little too happy about), then quickly showered before changing into a pair of jeans and a loose gray sweater, then cleaned his room.  Within an hour, the doorbell echoed throughout Kageyama’s home.  He made his way over to the door, his nerves tingling as he kept reminding himself he was about to spend the night with someone who was utterly in love with him. 

_“Okay, you can do this.  It’s just Kageyama.”_

Kageyama exhaled slowly before opening the door; was he really ready for a whole night of this?  When he finally did swing the door open, Hinata stood before him in a pair of jeans, a blue t-shirt, and his team jacket with a small bag hanging off his back.

“Kageyama!” he greeted with a wave.

“Hey.”

“ _Oh crap, he’s really hot in just his regular clothes!”_

Kageyama tensed, a sudden feeling of exposure crawling over him as Hinata stepped past him and into the house.

“Pardon the intrusion!” he called, kicking off his shoes before stepping onto the hardwood.

“Ah, is that Hinata-kun?” Kageyama heard his mother call from the kitchen, but he didn’t fully register it.

_He said I looked hot.  Shit, shit, shit!_

“Tobio!  Close the door already!” his mother scolded and he snapped out of his daze, promptly closing the door and heading to where Hinata stood. 

“Thank you for letting me stay over tonight, Kageyama-san.” He did the usual bow and Kageyama’s mother smiled while waving it off.

“Of course, I love meeting Tobio’s friends so don’t be afraid to come over whenever you want, okay?  I’m making fish ramen tonight, is that all right with you?”

“Yes!  I really like fish ramen!”  Hinata bounced up and down excitedly and Kageyama’s mother laughed at his childlike aura.

“Good!  I’ll see you two at dinner time then.  Oh, and Tobio – your father should be home by then.” 

Kageyama nodded and Hinata bounded off; Kageyama followed behind up the stairs like a lumbering old dog following a two-month old puppy.  Once inside his bedroom, Hinata dumped his overnight bag onto the floor near the doorway, then paced around the small room, inspecting the walls and shelves as he did so.

“You don’t really have a lot of stuff, huh?  I was expecting more.”

“Like what?” he asked before taking a seat in front of his small television and booting up the new game he had spoken of earlier.

“I don’t know, more volleyball stuff I guess.  Oh is this it!?” In a flash Hinata was seated next to Kageyama, his eyes glued to the screen as the opening sequence played.

“Yeah, it’s a racing game.”  As he handed Hinata the second controller, their fingers barely touched; Kageyama wouldn’t have even noticed if it weren’t for Hinata’s commentary.

“ _Our fingers touched!  He’s so warm, I wonder if I can get a little closer…”_

Kageyama felt Hinata shift beside him until their shoulders were rubbing against each other.  Honestly, Kageyama wouldn’t have cared, but knowing Hinata’s intentions behind it made him a little uneasy.

“Aren’t you a little close?”

“Oh, am I?  Sorry.” He shifted away and Kageyama relaxed with the extra distance.

“ _Damn, guess this is the best I can do.  For now.”_

Kageyama rolled his eyes.  _How persistent._

“I’m gonna kick your ass, bakayama, racing games are my specialty!”

“Whatever, you’ve never played against me.  I’ll show you what real racing is.” Kageyama thumbed the controller, picking out his favourite car quicker than Hinata could and making a show of waiting as Hinata took his time.

“I don’t know why you’re taking so long, you’re going to lose no matter what car you pick.”

“Uh-huh, well unlike _some_ people, I don’t just rush ahead to the flashiest option – I take my time.  It makes victory all the sweeter that way.”

“…It’s not flashy.” Mumbled Kageyama as he stared at his bright yellow Shelby with black stripes going down its length.

Finally, Hinata settled on a car.  Kageyama was quick to pick a track, one he had played a few times and knew well enough to know the various shortcuts and obstacles.

“Hey, Kageyama, let’s make a deal.  Whoever loses has to give half their dinner to the winner.”

“No way!  That wouldn’t even work with ramen!”

“Yes it would!  But whatever, then how about…the loser has to sleep on the guest futon and the winner gets the bed!”  Hinata had a mischievous look on his face – his eyes stared him down with a piercing stare, his mouth taught with a sly grin -- Kageyama didn’t like it one bit.

“That’s stupid.”

“So what?  Give me your answer.  Quick!  The game is gonna start!”

“ _Come on, say yes already.”_

_What the hell is this guy’s game?_

“Fine!  Deal.”

“Yes!” Hinata seemed overly confident and Kageyama felt as if he had just signed his life away.

The game counted down, the two boys hunched and tensed, thumbs at the ready – Kageyama kept his held down while Hinata waited for the last second before hitting the acceleration.  His car sped off, Kageyama was left with wheels spinning.  His lips curled when he heard Hinata snickering beside him.

“Stupid, everyone knows you don’t hold down the acceleration.”

“Shut up!”

Kageyama had half a mind to shove Hinata over, but he resisted – no matter how tempting it was, he was going to win this without cheating.

“First lap done!  C’mon, Kageyama, I thought you were supposed to be racing me?”

_Don’t shove him over, don’t shove him over._

In the midst of their gaming, Kageyama didn’t notice Hinata had somehow managed to inch closer to him and was now pressing their shoulders and knees together.  When he did, he was about to mention it to Hinata, but then-

“ _I’m so happy right now!  This is so much better than being at home.”_

He quietly sighed.  _I guess there’s no harm in it.  If it makes him happy…_

“I won!  Damn, that was easier than I thought.  I guess I get the bed tonight, huh, _bakayama_?”

_Then again._

_“_ Like hell you do!” He roughly shoved into Hinata, forcing him to topple over onto the floor with a loud yelp, “We keep going until dinner!  Whoever has the most wins by then gets the bed!”

“ _Crap!  My shoulder still hurts from today.  Stupid Kageyama!”_

Kageyama winced as guilt flooded his chest – he had totally forgotten about Hinata’s sore side.

“You’re on!” Hinata recovered, acting as if he wasn’t hurt at all.  Kageyama needed to play along, so he started setting up the next round. 

Neither of them realized dinner wasn’t for another three hours – this was going to be a long match.

* * *

Kageyama bitterly slurped through his dinner; he had lost the match, 22 to 24, and the giddy pride that erupted from Hinata’s very being pounded his defeat further and further into his head.

“ _I get to sleep in Kageyama’s bed tonight.  I can’t wait!  I bet it smells like him.”_

Kageyama held back the growl that threatened from the back his throat.  Sometimes he hated how cheery Hinata could be.

With their competitive spirit settled for now, they chose to spend the rest of the night watching old kung-fu movies.  It went by without incident – mostly.  Hinata still tried getting close to him and for the most part Kageyam allowed it as long as the thoughts that accompanied it weren’t too bothersome.  There was even a point where Hinata couldn’t stop thinking about how happy he was because Kageyama loaned him a spare sweater after he complained about being cold; he really was way too happy for his own good, but Kageyama guessed that was what love did to people.  It was almost…cute.

When the two began yawning and dozing off midway through the movies, they brushed their teeth and changed into their sleeping clothes.  Then the time came for Kageyama to face his defeat all over again.  He rigidly unrolled the spare futon next to his bed while Hinata sat cross-legged on top, staring down at him like a tyrant would upon a servant.

“Ah~~, sweet, sweet—“

“Don’t.  You say.  A word.”  Kageyama glared sideways at Hinata who shrunk away from his gaze, choosing to keep his mouth closed this time and hiding himself inside Kageyama’s over-sized sweater that he had chosen to keep on after changing.

“A-anyway, is it okay if I sleep in the sweater?  I’m still kind of cold.”

“ _Not really, I’m actually boiling, but I don’t mind if I get to sleep in his sweater.”_

Kageyama thought it over.  This could be his punishment for rubbing his win in his face, but considering he was already sleeping in his bed was taking away his sweater going to make much of a difference?

_Considering it’s Hinata, probably._

“Yeah whatever, go ahead.”

Hinata smiled, then withdrew the covers so he could crawl in, pulling them over himself and humming as he settled under the plush blanket.  As the warmth surrounded him, he released a drawn out yawn, signalling Kageyama’s own exhaustion.

“Goodnight, Kageyama.”

“Mm.  Goodnight.”

Kageyama made the rest of his bed, using the spare pillow and blanket from the closet.  It wasn’t nearly as cozy as his own, but it would suffice for the night.  The two boys were easily settled by the quiet of the night; Kageyama often left his window open so the night air could seep in, and that alone made their bedding all the more warmer.  Kageyama soon found himself drifting, his eyelids growing heavy until it was no longer an effort to keep them closed.  He was just about to sleep when…

“ _I can’t believe it.  I’m actually in Kageyama’s bed.”_

_Ugh…even when he’s not talking he’s annoying._

_“Kageyama sleeps in this bed every night.  After he’s eaten dinner.  After he’s had a bath.”_

Oh good, he knows his nightly routine.

“ _…I wonder if he masturbates in his bed, too?”_

_Wait, what?_

_“What does he think about?  Probably girls.  I wonder if he’s into schoolgirls like Noya-senpai.”_

Kageyama scowled, keeping his eyes shut tight.  _Hardly!_

_“No, maybe not.  Hmm…I wonder how he does it.  I wonder if he uses lotion or if he actually bought something.  Oh, should be around here.”_

Kageyama realized he did, in fact, keep a bottle of lubrication nearby.  He had gone out to a convenience store he didn’t visit very often in order to get it.  It was embarrassing as all hell, but it was worth it.

He could hear Hinata moving under the blanket as he searched the vicinity.  _Shit, don’t find it, don’t find it…_

_“There it is!  Oh wow.  ‘Warming, tingling sensation’.  Dirty Tobio.”_

_If there’s anyone out there, please just kill me now._ The way Hinata said his name felt wrong.  It was so...lewd.

“ _Crap!   I got hard.  I wonder if he’s asleep?”_

Kageyama’s eyes flew open.  Was he seriously thinking about doing _that_ in his bed?!  He remained still, his face turned away from the bed.

“ _Seems like it.  I wanna do it…but if I make a mess it’ll be obvious when he changes the sheets tomorrow.  Maybe…if I just touch myself a little.  Just enough so it’s not so bad.”_

_What the hell if he doing?!  Stop!  STOP!_ The sound of rustling had Kageyama’s heart racing and in the dead silence of the room, he even heard a small grunt coming from Hinata – he was actually touching himself in _his_ bed.

_“Oh my god…I’ve never been so hard before.  I want him to touch me.  I want Kageyama to touch me.  Kageyama…Tobio…shit! I can’t stop!  I want to keep going ‘til I cum!  Tobio...holy shit, I want him so badly.”_

This was too much.  Kageyama needed to stop this, to stop Hinata.

_“I want to touch him, too.  I wonder what his feels like?  What it…tastes like.  Shit, I want to know, I wish I could touch him!  Oh crap, I’m getting close, I gotta stop, but it’s too good!”_

He couldn’t hold back any longer.  If he didn’t speak now, it’d be too late, _“_ Hinata…you awake?”

“ _Oh shit!  Did he hear me?  Oh my god.”_

_“_ Yeah, w-what’s up?” his voice cracked.

“Uh…” Kageyama only thought of one thing and he didn’t really want to bring it up, but if it killed Hinata’s mood and stopped him in his tracks, then so be it, “I noticed you’ve been kind of off lately.  Is…everything okay?”

“Um…”

There was a long silence.  Maybe he shouldn’t have brought it up?  The whole point of this sleepover was to take Hinata’s mind off of his aunt, so what the hell was he doing by bringing it up?

_Saving myself from washing someone else’s cum stains from my sheets._

“Well…not…not really.”

“Did you want to talk about it?” Not that Kageyama was really all that great with advice and helping others, but at this point he was willing to give it a shot.  Who knows, maybe it’d help Hinata in the long run.

“I don’t know…it’s probably best if I don’t.  It’s just stupid stuff anyway.”

“ _Was it that obvious?  I thought I was doing so well to hide it!”_

_“_ Are you sure?  I mean…Sugawara says talking can help.  S-so, you know, if you want…I’m he…I’m…here.”

_Damn this is awkward.  No wonder I hate talking about this stuff._

“Well…okay.”  Hinata rolled over and Kageyama did the same so the two of them were facing each other, with Hinata slightly hanging off the bed so he wasn’t towering over him.

“So, my aunt…she might be sick.”

“Might be?”

“Well, a few days ago, my mom told me she felt a lump in her, y’know…chest.”

_Shit._

Hinata stared at Kageyama with a stern look, his lips tight and eyes furrowed while Kageyama stared blankly back – Hinata didn’t take that very well.

“It means it could be cancer!”

“I know that!  I was thinking!” Kageyama said defensively.

“Oh.”  Hinata backed off for a moment, then continued. “Anyway, she was really upset about it, and I am too.  She went to the hospital to get a biopsy, I think it’s called, done and now she’s just waiting for the results…she said she should have them by next week.”

Kageyama stayed silent, he truly didn’t know what to say, but Hinata kept going.

“Not only that, but she hasn’t been doing very well lately, besides the lump I mean.  She’s always tired, she gets sick easily, says she isn’t sleeping well and…well, just nothing good.”

“You know all this?”

“I’m close with her…that, and my mom talks a lot.  They’re always on the phone chatting so loud you can hear them all the way from my bedroom.  So, it’s kinda hard not to know.”

_What the hell am I supposed to say?  It’s cancer…that’s not something you can ease with just talking.  Uh…_

“Well…I mean, she hasn’t gotten the results back, right?  So you could be worrying over nothing.  And if you start letting yourself get down and think of the worst possibility, you’ll only be adding unnecessary stress to yourself.  Think of it like…your first match in junior high.”

“Ugh, you mean my first _and_ last match,”  Hinata groaned, burying his face into the pillow.

“Whatever, just listen, I’m trying to be helpful—“

“You’re doing an awful job” he chirped.

“Do you want to listen or not?!” Kageyama sat up this time in an attempt to make himself clear.  Hinata shrunk back under the bed and nodded.  Satisfied, Kageyama lied back down on the futon.

“Okay.  So, you were losing. Your team had given up hope, there was no way you guys could make a comeback, the audience was waiting for us to win so the tournament could move on—“

“ _Ugh,_ get to the point already!”

“And yet, you still kept fighting.  I saw it, your team saw it, every one saw it.  Even when there was no hope, you kept fighting right up until the end.  You didn’t give up, and you proved to everyone you weren’t going down without a fight and I think you should do the same thing here.” 

Hinata was silent; he kept his head buried in the pillow, but Kageyama knew he was still listening.

“I’ve…never had a sick family member, so I don’t really know what you’re going through.  But, I know your aunt wouldn’t want you to give up on her so easily.  Even if she has…you know…she can still come back from it.  She can still fight it, just like how you fought us.  So…so don’t give up, okay?”

“ _Kageyama…”_

_“_ Hinata?”

“Okay…” he mumbled into the pillow before lifting his head to meet Kageyama’s gaze. “I won’t give up, I promise.  Thanks, Kageyama.”

Kageyama nodded curtly, “Y-y-you’re…welcome.  Now get some sleep!”  He rolled over, turning his back to Hinata and pulling his blanket over his shoulders.  Hinata didn’t seem to move. 

“ _Kageyama…you’re a really kind person, even if you don’t show it that often.  I wish I had the courage to tell you how I feel.”_

_Dumbass…I already know, that’s why I’m trying so hard._ Kageyama felt an intense heat overwhelm his body. He can’t remember the last time he tried so hard to make another person happy; in fact…he never has before.  As difficult and new as it was to him, he felt lighter knowing he had helped Hinata in a way no one else could.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted just in time for the Season 2 premier!  
> Just a quick heads up, I'll be leaving for Japan on October 10th and I will be gone for two weeks. I'll do my best to finish the fic by then, but if not expect a two-to-three week hiatus.
> 
> Enjoy!

The morning after didn’t come soon enough.  Hinata was the first to wake up and instead of suffering through the awkward situation of being the guest waiting for everyone else to wake up before he could anything, he chose instead to force Kageyama awake in the most insufferable way possible.

“…KAGEYAMA!” He screamed, jolting his friend awake, and if that weren’t enough, he followed it up by beating him with his pillow.

“Kageyama!  It’s time to wake up!”

_SMACK, SMACK, SMACK_

“Stop it!” he roared from under the safety of his blanket.  Hinata finally eased off, giggling all the while, but Kageyama didn’t come out until he heard the soft thump of the pillow hitting the bed. 

“Ah, that was fun.”

“For you maybe!  What kind of person does that?”

“Geeze you’re grumpy in the morning, I’m just hungry!”

Kageyama groaned; this was too much energy for one person to have in the morning.  Together, they stripped the guest futon and Kageyama’s bed of its sheets, then loaded the first batch in the machine before heading to the kitchen.  Unsurprisingly, Kageyama’s mother and father were already up and eating away at their plate of pancakes.

“Good morning you two.”

“Morning.”

“Good morning!”  Hinata excitedly loaded up his plate with pancakes and fruit and Kageyama did the same while pouring them both some orange juice.

“So Shoyo, we didn’t get to talk much last night,” his father said, “how is school going?”

“It’s going great!  I’m really happy I got to join the volleyball team.  I’ve always wanted to join, it’s been my dream to play volleyball since…” he rambled on and on about volleyball, about the Little Giant, about his first experience in junior high – Kageyama was so accustomed to it he managed to tune it out.

“ _The best part is I get to play with Kageyama…I wish I could tell his father that.”_

Kageyama choked on a mouthful of pancake and his mother scorned him, shaking her head as he tried to down the piece with orange juice.

“Tobio, take smaller mouthfuls!”

“Yeah Kageyama, you _animal._ ”

He glared at Hinata’s smug face as he downed the last of his juice, cursing him to have indigestion later.

With breakfast finished, the pair helped clean up and did the dishes, then Hinata said his goodbyes and left after cleaning himself up and dressing for the day.  Kageyama closed the door behind him with a heavy sigh, sinking into the door and resting against it.

The night before was…interesting, to say the least.  After their talk, Hinata had finally settled and fallen asleep; Kageyama was proud of himself for being able to get him to open up and destress a little, but the situation that was playing out before that still had Kageyama’s skin crawling.

_How could he think of me like that?  How does he even know about that kind of stuff?  I guess it’s not that difficult…but it’s Hinata, he doesn’t seem like the type to have those thoughts._

He rubbed at the back of his head and turned to head upstairs to start his homework, but then his mother called to him.

“Before you go, can you go to the store?  We’re out of milk and eggs.  Might as well get some sugar, too, if it’s on sale.”

“Okay.” Kageyama did his best not to show his annoyance.  He didn’t really want to leave, but maybe the fresh air would do him some good.

The walk to the store was short enough, and the walk back was even shorter.  There was so much going through his mind, he didn’t notice the heat of the sun beating on his back, the clear blue sky or the budding flowers – it was one of those days that made him love Spring and he paid it no mind.  Within no time he was back at home, putting the groceries away and sitting down at his table in his room to start homework.

Even that was a challenge.  Anytime he tried to focus on schoolwork, thoughts of Hinata would bombard him.

_Is Hinata doing okay?  What if he never gets out of this?  What if I never stop hearing his voice?  I can’t play volleyball like this, not when he’s thinking of me, of making me happy and making me…do those things.  We’d have to stop playing, go our separate ways._

“Shit.”  Kageyama had been writing so hard the end of his pencil broke off.  He quickly sharpened it and went back to work.

_…Is his aunt okay?  Is he okay?  I wonder if my words actually helped.  If they didn’t, what else can I do?  I’m running out of ideas._

This was getting out of hand, he couldn’t focus.  He ground his forehead against the table in aggravation.  He was thinking about Hinata way too much.

_I wonder if he masturbated when he got home…whoa._

His eyes went wide as that creeping, tingling feeling wormed its way up from his fingertips and down his spine – his mind was starting to wander a little too far and it was something of a concern to Kageyama.  He didn’t like thinking of that stuff, he didn’t _want_ to think of it, and yet it crept into his mind still.  It left him with an uneasy feeling, one that could only be remedied by the white noise of volleyball.  He put on one of his many tournament recordings and got back to his homework, falling under the lulling spell of whistles and sneaker-squeaks as he scribbled away.

\------------

Monday morning rolled around and although Kageyama slept well enough, his mind and heart were uneasy with the memory of his thoughts from the night before.  He felt like he needed to distance himself, get a break from Hinata and his assaulting inner thoughts.

_Otherwise, I might just go crazy thinking about him._

He wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to distance himself, and he didn’t have much time to plan it out because as he passed through the gates of the school, he heard the ringing chorus of his teammate’s thoughts invade his mind.

“ _There’s Kageyama!  I should ask him if he wants to eat lunch together.  I wonder what he has for lunch today?  Probably something good, his mom is such a good cook.”_

Panic set in.  _What should I do?  Should I run?  No, that’s suspicious, and it didn’t work out well last time I ran.  Shit, shit, what do I do?_

“Kageyama!” Hinata jumped on his shoulders from behind and Kageyama stopped to brace himself.  He growled in annoyance and Hinata backed off with his hands raised, smiling wide as he laughed at his reaction.

“You’re so easy to tease.”

“Whatever.” Kageyama shrugged it off and Hinata happily walked beside him.

“Hey, did you want to eat lunch together today?”

“ _Please say yes, please say yes.”_

“Can’t.” Kageyama retorted curtly.

“ _Damn!  I’ll change his mind.”_ Something about that line of thought irked Kageyama, his lip twitching in reflex.

“Oh? Why not?  Wait, let me guess – ‘I have to study today, lots to do, can’t eat lunch with Hinata’” mocked Hinata with his brows furrowed and lips tight, his tone lowering to try and match Kageyama’s naturally deep voice.  Kageyama was seething; he hated when Hinata mocked him.

“Oi!  I don’t sound like that!  And I just can’t today, got it?”

“Aw come on!  What’s the big deal?  It’s just lunch!”  Hinata tugged on Kageyama’s sleeve and for whatever reason that small, meaningless gesture felt like Hinata had pulled the last thread that was the woven piece of his patience.

“ _Just be with me.”_

“I don’t want to!  We already spent the weekend together, can’t I get a break once in a while?!”

They stopped in their tracks.  Kageyama was bristling with anger, his jaw clenched tight and eyes narrowed; Hinata had curled into himself like a dog with its tail between its legs and as his smile faded, Kageyama backed off when the flash flood of guilt hit him.  He was getting far too used to this feeling.

“Not today.  That’s all.”  He turned and left, unable to handle the sadness and fear that replaced Hinata’s usual glowing aura.

“R-right.  Maybe…” Hinata spoke so quietly, Kageyama couldn’t catch the last of his sentence, but at this point he didn’t really care.

“ _He…needs a break from me?”_

Now that – that made his heart stop.  He didn’t realize what exactly he had said, but he never meant for it to come out that way.  He just needed a break to clear his mind, to hear his own thoughts for once.  He thought about going back and apologizing, but then he realized,

_This is okay.  Maybe if I’m a little mean, he’ll stop loving me.  My ability will go away, the thoughts will stop, and everything will be back to normal.  I’m sorry Hinata, just hold out for a little bit and then things will be okay._

He resisted the urge to console him and left his teammate behind; he could only guess at the face Hinata was making right now and the very thought made his chest tight.

The rest of the day went just as Kageyama expected.  Again, he was thankful they were in separate classes, and when lunch time came around, Hinata didn’t show up.  He would periodically look to the doorway, wondering if he’d see his obnoxious orange hair peeking in to check on him, but no such thing occurred.  When the bell to signal the end of lunch rang, Kageyama felt…empty, and it ate away at him all throughout the afternoon and right up until they saw each other at the start of practice.

“Hey,” he said while they changed next to each other.  No response, but there was…

“ _Don’t look at him, don’t look at him, don’t look at him.”_

Kageyama tensed – he was being ignored!

“Hey!” he said it again with a little more force and this time Hinata turned to him.

“Wh…what is it?”  He looked nervous, maybe even a little scared.  Perhaps Kageyama went a little overboard earlier.

“Listen, I know what I said earlier was a little harsh, but you don’t have to ignore me.  I’m your setter after all.”  He watched as Hinata tensed, his hands tightening handfuls of his jersey.

“ _’A little harsh’?  What the hell!  And who does he think he is, saying something like that to me of all people.  Sometimes I just want to kick his ass!”_

“Y-yeah, well…you’re not the only setter on the team.”  Kageyama recoiled, the blow hitting him hard and igniting his rage.  By the time he had thought of what to say, Hinata had already slipped his gym shirt on and was heading for the door.  Before he left the change room he turned back, “Speaking of…I think it’s best if I practice with Sugawara-san today.”

“ _Since you’re just dying to get a break from me anyway…he’s probably sick of playing with me.”_

“Hina--!”

_Shit!  I can’t react!_

He watched as Hinata walked on, his frustration and anger bubbling to an excruciating point.  He grabbed handfuls of his hair, threw his fist against the wall, anything to expel the overwhelming emotions inside him.

_Just keep it up.  Things will be rough, then I’ll apologize and we’ll be okay._

That’s what Kageyama thought, that’s what he prepared for, but things only got worse.  Hinata and Sugawara practiced, which wouldn’t have received so much attention if it wasn’t for the thick veil of tension that hung around the pair of boys.  For two people who often spoke so much to each other, the forced silence was eerie.  Daichi tried to step in, asked Kageyama if something had happened and if he could help, but he kept quiet, as did Hinata. 

They made it through practice well enough, putting the hurt aside for the sake of volleyball, but as soon as it ended Hinata went back to brushing Kageyama off.  He rushed to the change room as soon as clean-up was done, leaving Kageyama to face the ominous stares of the entire team.

“What?” he squirmed under their gaze.

“What did you do?” Noya asked.

“Why do you think it was me?!”

“It’s always you, so fix it!  It’s weird seeing you two like this!”

“Yeah, even when you first joined the team you guys weren’t this tense.  It’s weirding everyone out.” Commented Tanaka.

_If only you knew._

“I’ll try, but it’s not my fault!”

Leaving behind his murmuring teammates, he headed for the change room, hoping Hinata had already left.

“ _I wish I saw this text earlier!  I have to get to the hospital!”_

Kageyama hurried when he heard the panicked thought, turning the corner to enter the change room, seeing Hinata crouched down in front of his bag with his cell phone flipped open.  Hinata whipped his head around and faced him – his eyes were red and puffy, his nose dribbling snot, his cheeks wet.  He was crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Hinata sniffed, wiping his nose on the collar of his shirt and rising with his bag slung over his shoulder, “I have to go.”

“ _I have to hurry, I have to see Aunty!”_

“Hinata, just tell me what’s wrong,” he grabbed Hinata by the shoulder to try and stop him, but he broke free. 

“I said it’s nothing!  Leave me alone!”  Hinata bolted, swinging his arms wildly as he ran and within seconds he was out of sight.  Kageyama was stunned.

_What happened?  Is she okay?  Should I go over?  No, that’d be suspicious if I showed up.  Maybe I should text him later. But what if he doesn’t answer?_

_“_ Damn it!  This is so hard!”

“What’s so hard?”

Kageyama jumped and turned, he hadn’t even heard Asahi come up behind him.  He needed to think of something, fast.

“Uh, j-j-just…uh…”

“Is it the whole thing with Hinata?  Did you try talking to him?”

“S-sort of…” he mumbled.   _Not at all._

“Didn’t go well, huh?”

Kageyama stayed silent.  He knew better than to mention Hinata crying, or dashing off – without his thoughts for context, it would seem like he did it to Hinata.

“Try again tomorrow,” Asahi slapped his hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, a gesture he undoubtedly picked up from Noya, “Maybe he just needs some time to figure things out.”

He nodded in response and let Asahi pass by, following behind so he could change.  If this was what just one day could do, maybe he shouldn’t let this tension go on for too long.  His original plan of leaving Hinata be for a while was starting to crumble; if this was what every day was going to be like he wasn’t sure it was worth it.

\----------

The next day, he had planned to try and patch things over, but Hinata continued giving him the cold shoulder.  Even when he tried asking about his aunt, the only response he received was,

“She’s fine, you don’t need to worry about her.”

Kageyama was at his wits end with this situation.  If it wasn’t for Hinata’s inner commentary throughout the day, he would have forcibly stepped in.

“ _At least he still cares about her.  He isn’t totally evil.”_

_“I still can’t believe he said that to me.  Maybe I’m holding out for nothing.”_

_“He’ll never return my feelings.”_

_“I was stupid for thinking he would.  We were rivals, it doesn’t make sense.”_

_“I should just give up.”_

His plan was working.  As tough as it was to keep going, Kageyama knew it was for the best, even if he had to deal with that nagging empty feeling.  Each day after that, they only grew more and more distant; eventually the hostility died down, but the awkwardness between them never left.  They would pull together for practice and like two opposing sides of magnets, Hinata would fly off as soon as it was over.  He no longer chased after Kageyama, didn’t wait for him outside his classroom for lunch, didn’t walk beside him when the team left together; all those little things that used to annoy Kageyama, he now found himself actively thinking about their lacking presence.

The week dragged by and at the end of class, Kageyama hurriedly left the school and headed home.  He wanted the weekend to fly by so that by Monday he could fix his friendship with Hinata; surely that would have been enough time for him to get over his feelings, right?

As he headed towards the gates, a familiar bright orange caught his eye and he looked to see Hinata off in the distance by the bike racks, straddling his bike and talking to a girl he couldn’t recognize, both of them shaded by the tree they stood next to.

_A classmate, maybe?_

He watched them converse, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, at least until she handed him what looked like an envelope.  Hinata took it, saw him tuck it into his bag, and watched as the girl waved him off before skipping away.  All the clues pointed to one conclusion: Hinata just got confessed to.  Instantly, his pulse and breathing stopped as a million different thoughts came to him.

_No way.  Do girls even like him?  He’s so short.  And awkward.  Why would they like him?  They wouldn’t be able to handle his schedule.  He’s too serious about volleyball.  He’s oblivious, too, and broke!  Oh shit he’s coming this way!_

Kageyama tried to find someplace to hide, but he was out in the open, so as Hinata rode towards him he had no other choice but to face him since it was obvious he had witnessed the entire thing; not even Hinata was that stupid to think otherwise.  He stopped a few feet away, one foot on the ground to steady himself on his bike.

“ _Crap, did he just see that?”_

“Did you…see that?” he asked.  His voice was strained.

“…Yeah.”  No point in playing dumb at this point, “She seems…cute.  Energetic.  Uh, p-p-probably a good match for you.  Are you going to answer her?”

_Be supportive.  If he gets a girlfriend, he’ll definitely move on.  Even if she isn’t right for him._

Wait, that sounded like the complete opposite of “supportive”.

 “No.”

“ _Don’t tell me to go for her, you ass!  I can’t believe this guy!”_

“Why not?  Wouldn’t it be nice to have a girlfriend?  She could cheer you on at matches, you could go on dates.”  Kageyama was trying to be helpful, but for whatever reason it became harder and harder for him to talk.  He was so caught up in his whirlwind of emotions, he didn’t notice Hinata’s eyes going wide, his jaw clenching, or his fingers gripping the handlebars of his bike so hard his knuckles went white.

“ _Because there’s someone else.”_

 _“_ Kageyama, you….you…you’re so stupid!  I can’t believe the shit that comes out of your mouth sometimes!  Just stay away from me from now on, got it?!”

_Crap, now what did I do?!_

He sped off.  Kageyama jumped forward to try and grab onto his bike to stop him, but he was too quick.

“You can’t keep running, Hinata!” he called, but Hinata had already turned down the sidewalk and was gone. 

Kageyama screamed and kicked at a nearby rock carelessly, earning a few sideways glares from students and teachers.  Why was it so hard for him to be supportive? Even with his ability, it seemed like no matter what he said or did he only made Hinata more upset.  This was starting to become too difficult to handle.

He headed home in a huff, his emotions still roaring inside him and his heart pounding hard in his chest.  When he arrived, he stomped up to his bedroom and threw his bag aside, flopping onto his bed and screaming into the mattress with all his might until his lungs felt they might burst.  He heaved against the bed, strings of drool clinging to the mattress that he wiped away with the sleeve of his jacket.

_Every time I try to do something good, it backfires.  But if I do nothing at all, it will only get worse.  He wasn’t supposed to drift this far.  I can’t let him hate me too much, not when we make such a good team.  We could go to Nationals together, blow the whole crowd away with our combo.  Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to push him away, maybe I should have just let him continue loving me and chasing after me.  But…that’s not fair.  I don’t like him that way._

His chest tightened again for some unknown reason, like what he just thought bothered him.  But why would it?

_I don’t like him.  Right?_

His pulse raced when he thought of Hinata today, when he realized how lonely he felt due to his absence; but that doesn’t mean he likes him, he just missed his friend, right?  Kageyama groaned and grabbed his pillow to tuck it under his head, his face turning sideways so he wouldn’t suffocate.  He was thinking too much, he needed to rest and recuperate from today.

\------------

When he finally awoke, he felt groggy and even worse than before.  Looking to the clock, he had slept for about two hours.

_Too long.  I feel like shit._

“Tobio,” his mother knocked at his door then entered, peeking her head in just enough to lay eyes on him, “Dinner will be ready in an hour, go wash up.”

_Why even bother knocking if you’re just going to come in?_

_“_ Yeah, okay.  Thanks.”

His body felt stiff as he pushed up from his bed; his neck was particularly tight from being in one position for too long and he took a moment to stretch it out, then went to the bathroom.  He shed his clothing and ran a hot bath, taking a shower beforehand to scrub himself clean while the bath filled, then gingerly stepped inside the water and settling in right away.

With his mind somewhat rested and his body slowly unwinding from the heat, he felt more at ease and able to think more clearly.

_I can’t believe he’s going to reject her.  It’d be good for him to get a girlfriend, wouldn’t it?_

A pang of annoyance struck the back of Kageyama’s mind, but he brushed it off.

_She would show up to matches, cheer him on, then they’d go out to celebrate.  He’d probably take her to an arcade or something stupid like that.  Treat her to meatbuns._

He snorted at the thought, then faintly remembered all the times they shared meatbuns together.

_On the weekends he’d have someone to spend time with.  I wonder how long they would last?  Probably a long time, Hinata’s very committed.  Maybe they would even go to the same college.  Huh.  I wonder if Hinata even wants to go to college?_

As he thought, the heat of the bath seemed to seep inside him and before he knew it, he felt a familiar ache in his groin.  He felt restless, his hands fidgeting in the water.  When he looked down and broke away from his thoughts, he realized he had grown hard.

_That’s weird.  Maybe it’s just because I’m relaxed.  It should go away._

But it didn’t.  No matter how much time passed, his strained erection remained and it only grew more and more noticeable the harder he tried to ignore it, even to the point where his hips gently bucked off from the bottom of the tub, begging Kageyama to touch himself. 

_Better just take care of it.  I have to get out soon._

Gliding through the water, his fingertips stroked the head, trailing down his shaft before closing around it.  He sighed from the touch, his body heat quickly becoming warmer than the surrounding water.  Catching his lower lip between his teeth, his hand stroked down, pulling his foreskin and showing the head of his cock before pushing it back up and over it; the sensation was thrilling and he repeated it over and over, closing his eyes and resting his head against the wall when he had set a steady rhythm.

Various images popped into his mind; girls in short skirts, thigh-high stockings being pulled down slowly, wet semi-sheer blouses and glistening lips with fresh cum on them.  None of them did the trick, none of them sent that electrifying jolt to his groin, so he moved on to the next image until something clicked, but still nothing.

_This is stupid, I can’t get in the mood._

He was just about to give up and stop until—

_Haah, Tobio!  I want to touch him!_

He froze.  His spine tingled and his cock twitched – it was the reaction he was looking for, but the source was completely uncalled for.  He had just thought of Hinata, more specifically, the night he had stayed over and was masturbating to Kageyama.  Why did his body react to it?  He didn’t like him!

_Kageyama, aahn!  Kageyama!  Touch me!_

Another chill spread throughout his body.  He was getting turned on, _really_ turned on, just from thinking about Hinata, and like the opening of floodgates, more and more thoughts came crashing down on him.

_What if I never stopped him that night?  What if instead I caught him in the act?_

_“Hinata, are you touching yourself?”_

_“No!  Why would I do something like that?!”_

Kageyama’s hand resumed its previous motion, but at a much slower and hesitant pace.

“ _You can’t lie to me.  I can hear your thoughts, Hinata, always could.  You were thinking about me, weren’t you?”_

_I’d crawl into the bed, corner him by the wall, get under the covers with him.  His dick would still be out of his shorts, so I would…grab it, feel how hard it is._

_“Kageyama!” he’d say in that whiny voice.  His big, round eyes looking up at me._

_“Does it feel good when I touch you like this?”_

_I’d rub him slow, use my thumb to touch the head._

“Haah, shit—“ His thumb mimicked his own fantasy and rubbed over the opening of his cock repeatedly, digging into it and forcing his hips to jump up each time.  He was starting to sweat, his throat going dry as he panted.

_I wonder what it looks like?  Is it like mine?  Is he smaller?  Thicker?  I kind of want to see…_

He didn’t bother worrying about that thought, he’d think about it later.

_“Ahn, Kageyama, touch me more, please!”_

_“Hinata…touch mine, too.”_

_His hands are so small, he’d probably need to use both just to stroke me.  Fuck._

He was getting close, the image of Hinata’s flushed face and staring down at his cock while both his hands stroked him had him edging closer and closer.  His hand gripped himself tight, pumping faster, his hips practically humping into his grip; he tried to stop some of the water from splashing over the edge, but at this point his mind was too far gone to really make it a priority.

_I wonder if he’d hump my hand.  He’d be so desperate, he probably would.  Would my hand feel good?  I bet his would._

_“Kageyama, Kageyama!  I’m close, I think…I’m gonna cum!”_

_“_ Me too, fuck.  Fuck!”

_I want him to cum from my hand, I want to make him to feel good.  Hinata.  Hinata.  Fuck!_

“Haah, haah---ngh!”

His back arched, his body rising off the bottom of the tub as he came into the water, his other hand flying up to grip the edge while the other slowly and erratically continued moving to ease him through the pure bliss of his orgasm.  When it was said and done, his body completely deflated and sunk into the hard surface of the tub, his mind feeling hazy and his throat parched.  He eyed the thick strings of semen floating through the water, and he slowly came to the conclusion of what he had just done. He sunk into the water and covered his face in shame.

_I just masturbated to Hinata.  Shit.  What does this mean?_

“It means I like him.”

Saying it aloud made it concrete, made it real.  There was no lying about what he had done, no way he could deny it.  It explained why he was so mixed up in his feelings over Hinata.  He wanted him to be with someone, but not someone _else._  Kageyama wanted him to be happy, tried so hard to make his life stress-free and when it became too much, he pushed him away because…because it was him who was getting too close, not Hinata.

_I miss him.  Why was I so stupid?  I should have never tried to push him away!  He was right, I really am stupid._

“Tobio?” It was his mother again, talking from the other side of the bathroom door, “Dinner’s ready, hurry up.”

“Okay.”

He was still a little shaky when he stepped out of the bath and he couldn’t pinpoint if it was from what he had just done or because of his newly realized feelings, but even so he felt like a weight had been lifted off him.  He wanted Hinata.  Wanted to make him happy, wanted to hold him, to play volleyball with him, to keep him warm at night and grow with him, to face the future by his side.

Tomorrow was Saturday, meaning morning practice.  He’d get to see Hinata again, he’d get to play with him again, and he’d apologize for all the trouble he’s put him through.  He resolved to tell Hinata everything; his feelings, his ability, and his knowing about Hinata’s love towards him.  Fear struck his heart then; he wasn’t sure how Hinata would react, he might even hate him for not telling him sooner, but he couldn’t hide it anymore and would take whatever wrath Hinata could throw at him.

Drying himself off, he tossed the towel into the hamper and changed into his sleepwear.  He was anxious to get to bed knowing what was to come tomorrow, but if even one good thing was to come from his confession, then it wold be worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter before the epilogue!! Thank you for being so patient for this chapter <3  
> (For those wondering, my trip was AMAZING! 10/10 would go again)

The next morning Kageyama woke long before his alarm went off.  He debated showing up to the gym early so he and Hinata could talk, but knowing his teammate he wouldn’t be there earlier than needed, especially with what was happening between the two of them.  So instead, he tossed and turned under the early morning light trickling into his room, thinking over his impending conversation: today was the day he was going to confess to Hinata and tell him about his power.

His breath hitched, a wash of anxiety blossomed from his chest and through to his limb, forcing a shiver from him.  What was he going to say?

_‘This is going to sound crazy, but for the past two weeks I’ve been hearing your thoughts.  I know you love me and at first I hated it, but now I realize I love you, too.’_

“Will he be happy?” he asked in the darkness of his room.  An image of Hinata’s smiling face appeared before him.

“Maybe not.  He’ll probably get mad at me.”

_‘Kageyama!  You’re so selfish!  How could you know and not say anything?!’_

_‘I didn’t know what to do!  I was confused and then I was going to tell you but your aunt got sick and I was trying to help you by not telling you!’_

“Will that make him angrier?” his face contorted into an unknowing frown befpre he groaned and slapped his palms over his face, “I don’t know!  I don’t know what to do or what to say!” 

_But I have to do it._

**_BEEP BEEP BEEP_ **

His alarm went off on his phone and he shut it off with a sigh.  Regardless of how terrified he was, he needed to tell Hinata; there was no way he could keep this going on any longer.

* * *

The thought of seeing Hinata had him on edge and he felt like he could probably run a marathon¸ but for now he’d have to settle for a jog to the club room. When he reached the old metal door, he took a deep breath of fresh air in an attempt to calm his nerves, then pushed it open with a little too much vigour as it ended up slamming against the wall.

 “Why so much noise this early in the morning?” groaned Tsukkishima from the other end of the room.

“Oi, don’t tell me you’re already in a bad mood?  Practice hasn’t even started!” called Nishinoya who was still in his boxers.

“Is something wrong, Kageyama?” Asahi asked from beside him with a concerned look.

“I’m fine, it was an accident, that’s all.  Where’s Hinata?” as he closed the door, he noticed that amongst all the boys in the room, he didn’t see his friend anywhere.  Come to think of it, he should have been hearing his thoughts before he even entered.

 “Don’t know, he usually shows up with you, doesn’t he?” replied Tanaka.

Kageyama hummed in acknowledgement and proceeded to change into his gym clothes.  _Maybe he did show up early and he’s already in the gym?_

That’s what he hoped for, but his gut was telling him something different, something he couldn’t decipher but he knew it wasn’t anything good.  He hurriedly threw on his shirt and left, picking up his pace towards the gym door and almost jumping in through the open doorway; he looked around in the wide open space, listened for Hinata’s high-pitched cry or laughter, anything that gave him a sign he was there, but there was none.

He deflated and that twisted, heaviness in his gut squirmed and clenched. 

_What if he’s sick?  He never dresses warm enough, so it’s possible.  Or maybe he just slept through his alarm.  But he’s such a light sleeper, and he’s never done that before.  Maybe…_

“Kageyama, let’s set up.”

He didn’t even hear Daichi enter the gym, but suddenly he was behind him and Kageyama flinched from the sudden break in his thoughts.  Daichi seemed to notice and his eyes narrowed with worry.

“What’s wrong?  Did I scare you?”

“No,” defended Kageyama.  _Should I tell him?  Maybe he knows where Hinata is._

 _“_ Okay, well help me set up then,” he watched as Daichi left.  His stomach tensed again and he opened his mouth to speak, but held back.

_I’ll call him._

“Daichi-san, I’ll be right there.  I need to make a phone call.”

Daichi peered out from inside the storeroom, eyes stern and expression dark. 

“You’re going to skip out on helping me set-up…for a phone call?”

Kageyama hesitated.

“It’s urgent.  Please.”  Kageyama bowed with his arms taught at his side, hoping it would be enough to convince Daichi, not that he was lying, but he guessed his captain wouldn’t consider this particular phone call urgent.

Daichi rolled his eyes and sent him off and Kageyama all but ran to the club room, passing by the rest of the team as he did so. He whipped out his cell phone from his bag and dialed in Hinata’s number, then waited.

_Ringing…ringing…ringing…come on, dumbass, pick up your phone._

“ **Hi, this is Hinata Shoyo!  I can’t come to the phone, please leave a message!”**

“Hinata, where the hell are you?  Practice is about to start!  Get your ass down here!  You’re freaking people out.”

_Well, just me really._

He hit the ‘End’ button and angrily stuffed his phone and bag away.  The lack of an answer had him frustrated – even if Hinata was sleeping in, his phone call should have woken him up, which means he was either already awake or his phone was on vibrate.

_Or he’s ignoring me._

He huffed in annoyance and left the club room, jogging to the gym so he wouldn’t keep Daichi waiting any longer and helped set up the rest of the equipment.  Whether Hinata was ignoring him or not, Kageyama couldn’t shake that negative feeling that left his chest buzzing.

“Okay!  Let’s start with group stretches!” Coach Ukai called out to the team.  When did he show up?  Kageyama hadn’t even noticed him.

“Huh?  Where’s Hinata?”

Looking out to the large circle of boys, he too, noticed Hinata’s obvious lacking presence.

“He’s la—“ Kageyama started, but was abruptly cut off by Daichi.

“He’s not coming today.  He texted me this morning.”

“Oh, did he say why?” prompted Ukai.

“Something about his Aunt.  He had to go to the hospital.”

Suddenly the whole team was buzzing with questions and they broke then stretching circle to crowd around Daichi, asking if she was okay, if Hinata was fine, discussing whether they should go and check on him, but Kageyama tuned them all out because there was only one question on his mind:

_Why did he tell Daichi and not me?_

“Daichi-san,” Kageyama started, “Did he say which hospital?”

Daichi eyed him suspiciously, “Why?”

“…I want to go see him.  He’s been really off lately and—“

“Isn’t that your fault?” Tsukkishima interrupted through the mild hum of the group and Kageyama glared at him with his lip curled before continuing.

“And, I’m worried something bad happened.  I have this feeling in my stomach, it’s all…guurrr, but I’m not sick.”

“It’s his ‘gut feeling’!  Tell him Daichi, where’s his aunt staying?” Nishinoya called out worriedly.

“I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

“Well text him!”

Daichi groaned and Sugawara came up behind him, smiling warmly with his hand on his shoulder.  One look at each other and Daichi gave in with a loud exhale as Sugawara patted him gently.

_Huh?  What was that just now?_

“Alright fine, let me get my phone.”

Daichi left for the sidelines and Noya, along with Tanaka and Asahi, excitedly followed.  Kageyama watched on, hopeful they’d get something out of Hinata since he wouldn’t be likely to respond to him.  His heart sank from the thought. 

“So, the King is actually going to miss practice to go see one of his subordinates?”

Kageyama looked to Tsukkishima who wore his usual know-it-all smirk and Kageyama flared up.

“Shut up.  It’s like I said, I’m worried about him.  He’s been all over the place and it’s…partially my fault.  I want to fix things before they get worse or I might…”

_I might lose him for good._

“You might what?”

“…Nothing.”  Kageyama averted his eyes.  He didn’t want to deal with Tsukkishima’s usual bullshit right now.

Tsukkishima’s smile faded, his expression becoming serious. Kageyama expected him to lash out, but what he got was completely out of left field.

“Whatever it is that’s going on with you two, it’s obviously something serious, or you wouldn’t even consider skipping practice for it.  To be frank, the two of you are important to the team.  Individually you’re fine, but as a pair you bring out the best in each other, to the point where no one knows what to do when you’re on the court.  It’s actually pretty annoying.”

Kageyama scoffed, what the hell was his point?

“And, I suspect…that probably goes for the same when you’re off the court, too.  It’s clear he means a lot to you, and it’s obvious he feels the same way.”

Kageyama stiffened, his heart stopping dead flat in his chest.  Did Tsukkishima know?  He hesitantly raised his eyes to meet the blonde’s, and Tsukkishima continued.

“You need each other.  Don’t let whatever this is,” he lazily waved his hand in front of him, “continue, or you’ll regret it.  Got it? Trust me, I know.”

Just then, his brown eyes flickered over to where Yamaguchi stood with Noya and the rest.  It was only for a second, but Kageyama caught it and Tsukkishima seemed to tense when he realized he saw, but neither of them spoke.  Kageyama nodded in agreement; for the first time, he felt like he and Tsukkishima actually understood one another.

“Kageyama, he texted back.  She’s staying on the 5th floor, room 513 at the East side hospital.”

“Okay, thank you so much, captain!  I’ll make up for next time!” Kageyama bowed and Daichi seemed pleased, but when Kageyama rose he was faced with his captain’s stern expression.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

Kageyama nodded, then headed over to Ukai to explain and apologize.  Ukai waved it off, saying he practiced enough as it was, and that one day wouldn’t put him behind.  Kageyama inwardly disagreed, but he was thankful nonetheless and left the gym behind to change.

_5 th floor, room 513.  I’m coming Hinata._

* * *

A fifteen-minute walk later and Kageyama was at the East side hospital, standing outside room 513; the smell of bleach clung to his nostrils and all through the hallways, staff were hurriedly bustling around.  Friends and family sat along the wall, some were crying while others were laughing – all-in-all, it made the atmosphere around him seem chaotic, but he hardly noticed due to his own circumstance he found himself in.  He was sweating and panicking because up until this point he realized just how strange it would be for _him_ to show up.  Was Hinata’s family even aware he knew?  What if it was supposed to be kept secret? 

_The team knew.  I’m just a concerned teammate.  That’s all.  I’m his friend, it’s natural for friends to show up.  Right?_

“ _She seems better today.”_

Kageyama stiffened, his breath hitching.  He had no time to think now, Hinata was close, but he wasn’t inside the room like he originally guessed; out of the corner of his eye, he saw bright orange enter his vision and he turned to see Hinata rounding the corner just a few feet away and halt as soon as their eyes locked.

His heart beat so hard he feared it might jump out of his chest – seeing Hinata standing there, all sorts of feeling came rushing to him at once; love, joy, fear, guilt, and everything in between. 

“ _What the hell is he doing here?”_

Kageyama swallowed hard; right, Hinata was still mad at him.

“Hey, Hinata.”

“Why are you here?” his tone was harsh and suspicious, his eyes narrowed in anger.  It didn’t suit him, Kageyama thought.

“Um…”

“They said Noya-senpai was coming, so…”

“Oh.”  _Noya-san?  That’s what they said?_ “He wanted to, but they sent me instead and…and…well, I wanted to come.”

“ _He wanted to?  Was he worried?  There’s practice though, he wouldn’t skip practice for me.  But then why is he here?”_

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“What’s the big deal?  I wanted to see you, is that so bad?” He scoffed and Hinata threw him an annoyed look. 

_Shit, get yourself together, I can’t keep pissing him off._

“Look, can we talk?” he sighed.

Hinata’s lips tightened to a thin line as he contemplated and Kageyama was hit with a rush of thoughts.

“ _What could it be?  Maybe he’s mad at me.  He’s going to tell me we can’t be friends.  We can’t play together anymore.   No more sleepovers, no more hanging out, no more of **him.** I’m scared, I don’t want to talk.  Maybe I should tell him?”_

_This is bad, he’s over-thinking._

Kageyama rolled his eyes and sat down on one of the plain green chairs outside the door against the wall and looked to Hinata, waiting to see if he’d sit next to him.  He did.

“ _I don’t want to do this.  Just let me stick around a little longer.  Please Kageyama, don’t stop being friends with me.  You’re all I have.”_

“Uh,” what should he say?  There were so many places to start, Kageyama couldn’t pick just one and with Hinata’s worrisome thoughts battering into his head it was hard to think.

Out of the blue, muffled laughter broke through the commotion in the hallway, coming from inside the room where Hinata’s Aunt was staying.

“You’re Aunt sounds better…is she okay?”

Hinata looked over anxiously.

“Yeah, she’s fine.”

“What happened?”

“Hmm…remember that lump?  I guess it was just fat or something, so she doesn’t have cancer.”  Kageyama visibly relaxed, even smiled and that seemed to ease some of Hinata’s tension.

“That’s good!  But then why is she here?”

“A few days ago, when you saw me…crying, my mom texted me that Aunty had fainted, so she was brought here, but it’s nothing serious.  Something to do with her blood not having enough oxygen, or…she doesn’t have enough blood for oxygen, I don’t know.  But she has to take some pill every day and change her diet and she’ll be okay.  I think she’s going home tomorrow.”

The knot that had been tightening in Kageyama’s stomach all morning finally came undone and he exhaled loudly as the tension released before slumping against the back of his chair.

_His aunt is going to be okay._

“Hinata, that’s such good news.  I’m…ha-happy for her.”

Hinata smiled faintly, but his eyes remained downcast, “Yeah, my whole family was super relieved to find out the good news.  We’ve been here all morning and my mom was here two nights ago, stayed overnight even, so it’s a lot of stress off her shoulders.”

“ _He really does care.”_

Kageyama nodded and the pair fell back into silence.  He shifted nervously, wanting to keep the conversation going, but fearful of the topic.  He looked to Hinata, admired his soft hair and round features, his warm brown eyes and his lithe frame right down to his hands.

_I’ve missed him.  I wish I could hold his hand right now._

His fingers twitched and he curled them into fists in an attempt to keep the impulse at bay.  _I have to tell him._

“Hinata, there’s—“

A loud beeping sound rang from one of the doorways across the hallway and two nurses hurried to the room to inspect it.

“Um, what I mean is, I need to talk—“

Again, Kageyama was interrupted by the same nurses who called out into the hallway for help and several other staff came bustling down the hallway and into the room.

“Whoa, I wonder what happened?” Hinata questioned as he leaned toward the door to try and peek in.

“Uh, can we go somewhere?  There’s something im…important I need to tell you.” Kageyama started and pulled Hinata’s attention away from the commotion.

“ _Here it comes.  Maybe I should tell him, too.  He should know.”_

“Yeah, okay.  Let me just say goodbye.”

Hinata rose and disappeared inside the room, closing the door softly and Kageyama waited.  He released a shaky breath and wrung his hands together; he didn’t handle nervousness very well, it wasn’t something he felt often, especially at this intensity, and he had no clue what to do with himself now that he was left alone.  Was this how Hinata felt before a match?  He chose to distract himself by watching the situation across the hall; nurses were headed in and out, some were running with supplies, calling out terms and jargon that Kageyama had no clue about, and eventually a doctor showed up. 

The sound of a door opening caught his attention and his teammate stepped out from the room and nodded to him, “Okay, we can go.”

Kageyama stood, looking down to Hinata who looked up at the same moment and right when their eyes met he felt his chest go fuzzy and a smile threatened to pull at his lips, but the feeling was bittersweet as Hinata looked away instantly, rushing ahead to get a move on.

“ _Stupid Kageyama and his stupid good looks.  I still love him!”_

Kageyama felt relief pour into him and let those words echo in his mind.  His plan had failed and Hinata still loved him, which meant he could fix their friendship.

_Assuming he doesn’t hate me after I tell him my secret._

* * *

By now, the sun was shining fiercely down on them and Kageyama shed his team jacket he had worn to practice this morning.  He and Hinata walked alongside each other in total silence; they both had a lot on their minds and during their walk to a nearby park, Hinata’s distressing thoughts didn’t stop and they actually interfered with Kageyama’s as he tried to get his own worries together. 

They came to a clearing under a large maple tree and Kageyama took a seat on the lush grass underneath it, choosing to sit cross-legged.  Sounds of children playing resounded from far away and sometimes the echo of a dog barking broke through, but otherwise they were alone.  The large, twisted branches and thickness of the new Spring green leaves provided some relief from the beating sun, but as Hinata mimicked Kageyama and sat cross-legged directly across from him, the sudden reality of his confession came thundering down on him like a hammer to a nail.

 “ _This is it, I have to tell him.  The sooner, the better, and then maybe we can be friends again.”_

Kageyama perked up.  _Perfect, if he starts then I won’t have to._

He watched as Hinata plucked pieces of grass and placed it on his knee, adding more and more to the pile until it was at least an inch high.

“What are you doing?” he finally asked after Hinata switched to create a new pile of grass on his other knee.

“I don’t know.  I’m anxious, I guess.”  Hinata shrugged and didn’t bother to look up at Kageyama, just kept on with adding more and more grass, eventually creating another pile just below his knee and up his leg.

“Okay.  Well…I guess I’ll start.  So--”

“No, wait.  I want to.  I have something to say.”

Finally, Hinata stopped plucking and for the first time, he stared Kageyama down and not once did he look away.  Kageyama held his breath and returned his gaze, dark navy eyes meeting chocolate ones, and prepared himself.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time, but there never seemed to be a right moment.” Hinata was shaking, probably just as bad as Kageyama was.

_This is it, he’s going to confess._

“So…you remember that girl that gave me a confession letter?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I turned her down.  And I turned her down because…there’s someone else.”

“ _I have to tell him, this is for the best.”_

Kageyama waited, his entire being remaining still while his eyes were focused on Hinata’s gaze.

“Who is it?”

“ _I wish I could tell him.”_

Kageyama furrowed his brows in confusion at the sudden thought.  _What does he mean?_

“There’s this girl in my class, Aki-chan.  She also confessed to me a while ago, but I forgot to answer because of everything going on.  She’s really nice and pretty, with black hair that goes to her shoulders and brown eyes like mine.  She supports me playing volleyball, so I think today I’m going to tell her ‘yes’.”

                                                                            “ _It’s not entirely a lie, right?”_

_**“Eventually I’ll like her.”**_

_“This is the best for both of us.”_

_“I’ll move on and we can keep being friends.”_

_“I was never good enough for him anyway.”_

_“I can’t even play volleyball good enough for him.”_

_" **I love him so much.”**_

_“He’ll never have to know.”_

**_“He could never love me anyway.”_ **

Kageyama sat dumbfounded, his jaw going taught as he listened to Hinata blatantly lie to his face.  He was furious, his nostrils flaring and lip curling, an intense rage broiling in his gut until finally reaching its peak and bursting forth.

“You’re wrong!  I do love you!”

Kageyama was quaking, hands tight on his knees with his eyes wide when he realized what he had just said; Hinata seemed just as confused, even shook his head slightly as if jarring himself out of a daze.

“Wha…what did you say?”

“ _He didn’t just say that, there’s no way.  He’s lying, he’s lying, he’s lying.”_

“I’m not lying! I love you, Hinata.  And I know you love me, too.  I’ve known for a while.”

_No point in stopping now._

“I don’t know why, but when I’m near you I can hear your…th-thoughts.”

Hinata was trembling, his chest visibly rising as he breathed heavily through his nose and eyed Kageyama hard.

“ _How…how did he know?  And what’s this about loving me?”_

 _“_ Don’t tease me!  I know you think I’m stupid, but this is just mean!”

“I don’t think you’re stupid!  Hinata, please,” Kageyama reached forward to grab Hinata’s hand, but the older boy was quick to pull it away.

“H-how long?” His voice was dry, his words barely audible as the question fell from his lips.

“…Two weeks.” Said Kageyama, almost just as quietly, his hand shrinking back.

“ _Two weeks?  He heard my thoughts about him, all those times I said he was hot, he heard all about my aunt, he heard—oh my god.  No, no, no, no…”_

“I don’t believe you.  There’s n-no way.”

“It’s true.  I can hear everything you can think as clear as day.  Right now, you’re thinking there’s no way I could be hearing your thoughts!”

“Of course I am!  Anyone would be thinking that!” Hinata angrily retorted, sweeping the grass of his legs carelessly.  Tears threatened at the corner of his eyes and Kageyama fought the urge to wipe them away.

“Then think of something else!  Something I can’t guess at!  Something I could never know!”

_Please believe me, Hinata._

“I can’t think of anything!”

“ _This can’t be happening, I won’t believe it!”_

“Then…I’ll tell you the first day I found out about my…power.  We were by the bike racks and you were riding off when I said, ‘Tomorrow, I’ll send you lots of tosses, okay?  So don’t slack!’.  And you gave me a thumbs up,” as he spoke, Hinata’s expression grew more somber, more horrified, “and then I remember hearing you think, ‘I could never slack with him.  I love all the tosses he sends me…I love him’.”

As he recited Hinata’s thoughts word-for-word, his voice drifted off to just a whisper on the last few.  Hinata slumped, all the tension in his body seemingly oozing from him into the earth below as he slowly came to the realization Kageyama was in fact, telling the truth.

“S-so…when I stayed at your place that one time…”

Thoughts of Hinata touching himself in his bed flooded Kageyama’s mind and his cheeks turned red with a blazing heat; he nodded, slowly, and watched the colour drain from Hinata’s face, saw him collapse into himself and swallow back a lump of bile that rose into his throat.  A gust of wind blew from behind Kageyama, pushing Hinata’s bangs out from his face and it was then Kageyama noticed the tears flowing freely from the corner of his eyes and down the sides of his cheeks and like a recurring nightmare, Kageyama shriveled as the overly-familiar feeling of guilt invaded his gut.

“How could you…all this time, you knew…”

“I didn’t want to, believe me.  I don’t know how I got this power, but it just—“

“HOW COULD YOU?!”

Hinata lunged, arms outstretched and teeth bared; he had done this many times before when he and Kageyama had their disputes, but this was different, more ferocious and serious, and Kageyama wasn’t prepared.  He was pushed back until he hit the hard ground, his head knocking first and making his vision spotty as it grinded against the dirt.

“All this time you knew and you did _nothing_!  You just played pretend while listening in on my private thoughts!”

He beat down on Kageyama’s chest with his fists, sending shockwave after shockwave rocking through him and forcing the breath from his lungs. 

“Hi—nata!  Wait!” He pushed back on Hinata’s face and tried to get his feet underneath him to push the smaller boy off, but Hinata was too nimble and quick, easily evading his attempts and leaving him to kicking up dirt and grass,

“All those time you were nice to me!  You were just babying me!!  You never cared!”

“That’s not true!” 

After receiving a few hard punches to the chest and shoulder, and even one to the face that left Kageyama with a busted cheek and tasting blood, Kageyama finally grabbed hold of Hinata’s wrists and kept him still.  Hinata fought against him, even bared his teeth as if threatening to bite, but Kageyama kept his grip tight.

“I was nice because I cared so much!  If I didn’t care, I would have just let you go on being sad and done nothing!”

“You should have told me right away!!”

“I was going to tell you the day after, I swear, but then you got that text about your aunt and you were…you were so upset and so sad, I thought if I told you ‘Hey guess what I can suddenly read your mind and oh, now you know that I know you love me’, do you honestly think it would have been better?!”

“I don’t know!  But you can’t just listen in on someone like this!”

“I know that!  I did what I thought was best!”

Hinata was openly sobbing now, his tears spilling over and falling onto Kageyama’s chest.  His muscles went slack and he lost all fight in him, choosing instead to wallow in his embarrassment.

“ _I just want to die.  How could he do this to me.  How could you Kageyama!”_

“Hinata, I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”  He slowly lowered Hinata down until he was lying on top, his arms bunched up underneath him and his face buried in Kageyama’s shoulder.

“You didn’t hear the other thing I said.  I love you.”

“No you don’t,” he mumbled, “You’re just pitying me.  You don’t even believe in love.”

“ _I hate pity.”_

“Don’t deny my feelings!  Look, these past two weeks have been crazy, for both of us, and you’re going to hate me for saying this, but I’m really glad I got my power when I did.  I never understood you before, and now I realize you’re caring, you put others before yourself, you try to pretend you’re fine even though inside you’re ready to break, but even so you try your best and work hard to better yourself.”

Hinata’s small frame had stopped shuddering and his sobs quieted down to mere sniffles as he silently listened.  Kageyama hesitantly wrapped his arms around him and held him close, and Hinata reflexively nuzzled his snotty face into his shoulder.

“You always go on about how amazing I am, but really I should be the one telling you that.  I’m nothing compared to you.  Hinata,” gently, Kageyama cupped Hinata’s face and tilted it upward until their eyes met; his face was red and eyes were puffy, just as he always was when he cried, “you’re _amazing_.  And I love you.”

Hinata sniffled again and took his time studying Kageyama’s face as if trying to discern if he was being honest and Kageyama unknowingly licked his lips when his eyes fell on Hinata’s mouth.

_Should I kiss him?  Is this a good time for a kiss?_

_“There’s one way to know.”_

Before he could decide, Hinata pushed forward and suddenly their lips met with a small peck.  Kageyama didn’t even have time to fully realize what had happened as Hinata was already pulling away and staring him down.

“How was that?  Did you hate it?  Do you feel gross inside because a boy just kissed you?”

Kageyama frantically shook his head, “No, I want to do it again.  Can I kiss you?”

Hinata’s eyes went wide in shock.  “ _He wants to kiss me again?”_

He slowly nodded then sat up, helping Kageyama do the same so they were sitting cross-legged again, only this time much closer, to the point their knees rubbed against each other.  Hinata waited, his tongue darting out to wet his lips and his eyes continuously jumping down to Kageyama’s mouth.  Kageyama was eager, excited even, and it was for that reason his took his time preparing himself for his _second_ kiss.

Together, they leaned in close, each boy eyeing the other’s mouth until finally their lips closed on each other.  Hinata seemed to melt into the kiss, his eyes now closed but his lips relaxed and Kageyama did the same; his hand gingerly sought out Hinata’s on his knee who readily grabbed hold once their fingertips brushed together and Hinata seemed to hum once he felt Kageyama’s thumb brushing across his finger.

As soon as it started, it was over and they were pulling apart before Kageyama was satisfied enough with their kiss.

“Hinata, again.” He demanded in a whisper as he inched closer, but was rejected as Hinata turned away and laughed with a small push on his chest.  Regardless, Kageyama kissed and nuzzled his soft cheek.

“We can’t keep kissing, stupid.  People will see us.” He giggled and Kageyama reluctantly pulled away, but he was smiling nonetheless.

Hinata was smiling again, laughing even and Kageyama realized just how much he missed hearing that harmonious sound.  Under the shade of the tree, some sunlight managed to break through the thicket of the leaves and shine down on Hinata’s bright, cheery face and even though his eyes were still red from crying and his cheeks were stained, Kageyama thought he genuinely looked—

_Beautiful._

Hinata seemed to notice his staring, but didn’t mind.  His other hand grabbed onto Kageyama’s and both hands gave his a small squeeze.

“I’m sorry I punched you…” he mumbled and Kageyama shook his head, uttering a quick ‘it’s fine’ before pressing his forehead to Hinata’s.

“ _He’s so handsome.  I could stare at him all day.”_

Kageyama snickered and his cheeks went red with embarrassment; Hinata looked to him questioningly, but then the realization hit him.

“You heard that, didn’t you?”

Kageyama nodded and Hinata sighed.

“This isn’t fair, you can hear all my thoughts but I can’t hear yours.”

“Don’t worry, you wouldn’t want to.”

“Why not?  Tell me what you’re thinking right now!”

He stared down Kageyama hard, curious and impatient to know and Kageyama moaned in annoyance.

_I missed you.  I love you.  These past two weeks have been hell but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.  Maybe better volleyball skills, but you would understand that.  I want to spend my life with you and go to Nationals with you.  I want to play volleyball with you until we grow old and die, or at least can’t jump anymore.  I want to make the happiest person alive.  I’m sorry I took so long.  I’m sorry I’m so stupid and couldn’t figure this out earlier.  I’m sorry—_

“Hey, you okay?  You have a really serious face right now.  What are you thinking about?”

Kageyama broke out of his thoughts and he peered at Hinata.  There was no way he could tell him everything now, he wouldn’t stop talking, but in time he would.  For now, he’d have to settle with—

“Meatbuns.  I want meatbuns.”

“Yeah!  Let’s get meatbuns!”

Hinata jumped up all at once, taking a moment to wipe the dirt and grass off his clothing before hopping around excitedly.  Kageyama joined him at his side and they started their walk to the convenience store.

“You’re buying, just so you know,” stated Hinata as he bounced alongside Kageyama.

“What?  Why am I buying?”

“You owe me for listening on my most private thoughts, for knowing about my feelings and not telling me, so being a total dick this entire time--”

“I was not being a dick!”

“Yes you were.  You kept telling me to get a girlfriend even though you _knew_ I loved you, you were mean to me those few days for whatever reason—wait, why were you mean to me?”

Kageyama lowered his gaze and looked to the ground to watch his feet as they crushed the gravel beneath them, feeling guilty and ashamed for his actions.

“I was trying to make you fall out of love with me.  I thought, if I couldn’t ever return your feelings that you would be sad, so if I was mean you would stop and…well, I’m sorry.”

Silence fell over them and Kageyama waited with bated breath for Hinata’s reaction, expecting him to blow up, but instead Hinata sighed and bumped into him with his shoulder.

“ _He’s an idiot, but a caring idiot.”_

“I forgive you.  You were trying to help me in your own weird, twisted way.  It just shows how much you care about me, and that’s what I like about you.”

Hinata smiled and continued happily walking by Kageyama’s side.

_You really are amazing, Shoyo._

An idea suddenly popped into his head and Kageyama switched his jacket to hang over his other arm while his other hesitantly shifted closer to Hinata until their fingers brushed; when Hinata didn’t immediately pull his hand away he went in and grabbed hold of Hinata’s hand.  He heard Hinata hitch his breath and look down between them.

“Sh-should be holding…h-hands?  People will see…” he said bashfully as his eyes darted around for any onlookers.

“ _His hands are sweaty.  I guess he’s just as nervous as me.”_

“Sorry,” mumbled Kageyama who then wiped his hand on his shirt, then resumed holding hands.

“Anyway, who cares?” he stated with his head held high, “We can’t go the rest of our lives without holding hands.  That’s impossible.”

“ _The rest of our lives.”_

Hinata blushed and his cheeks hurt with how wide he smiled and interlaced his fingers with Kageyama’s before humming a tune as they walked down the quiet residential street.

“ _I can definitely spend the rest of my life with him.  I love him so much.”_

“I love you, too, Hinata.”

Hinata whined and bumped into Kageyama again in protest, but he was blushing hard all the same.

_And I can’t wait to spend my life with you._


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! This took forever to update, but it's finally finished and I'm so happy I got the chance to write this story, I've been wanting to do it for such a long time. 
> 
> Thank you to every one who took the time to read and leave kudos or comment, it really means a lot and I'm overjoyed to know so many people enjoyed this story as much as I did.
> 
> Lots of NSFW stuff in this chapter so for those who came for the porn: ENJOY.

“Haah…it’s so cold in the morning.”

Kageyama treaded down his usual path to school, enjoying the silence of the early morning in his small town, minus the sound of rocks beneath his shoes, while pulling his arms closer to himself to brace against the chill in the air.

**_Crunch, crunch, crunch._ **

It was satisfying, in a way, knowing that with each crisp crunch he’d be closer to seeing Hinata again.  It had been three weeks since he confessed, and two weeks since they announced their relationship to their teammates; it seemed only right, but they kept the part about Kageyama’s power a secret, preferring it be something best kept between them.

Ever since his confession, his power slowly dwindled away like a melting candle; each day, he heard less and less, and now it seemed he would only catch the end of a thought.

“Kageyama!!”

He turned just in time to see Hinata in mid-air, arms open and legs spread.  Kageyama reflexively spread his arms open and braced himself for impact, grunting as Hinata landed in his arms.

“Good morning!” he cheered, eyes sparkling with energy and smiling wide.

“ _…cute today.”_

“’morning. And…you look cute, too.”  He said after returning Hinata’s kiss and setting him down on the ground, admiring the redness that spread across his cheeks as he did so.

“You can still hear me?!  It’s been weeks now!  When is it going to stop?”

Kageyama shrugged, “Who knows?  Soon, I think.  I can only hear little bits now.”

“Well the sooner the better, my mind needs privacy, y’know.”

“No shit, after our sleepover your mind needs all the privacy it can get,” he said with a smirk, flinching as Hinata slapped him across his arm.

“SHUT UP!”

Kageyama snorted, Hinata resisted the urge to cover his face, and together they made their way to the school, collectively falling into pace with each other.  In their silence, Kageyama felt the insistent twist of nervousness knotting in his stomach as an idea popped into his head and he focused his gaze away from Hinata as he spouted his question.

“Speaking of, uh…did you want to sleep over again?  Maybe…this weekend?”

He could feel Hinata’s gaze on him and all at once a sudden tension permeated the air between them; for the past couple weeks since their confession, they’ve grown much closer together, both emotionally and…physically.  While they haven’t gotten around to doing any overly erotic acts, their frequent make-out sessions were growing more and more hands-on, with each boy hiking up shirts and grabbing handfuls of taught flesh, even going as far as grinding their hardened selves against the other while panting the other’s name.  It was becoming frustrating.

“Oh, um…y-yeah, sure.  I’ll ask my mom tonight and let you know, but it shouldn’t a problem.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“O-okay…talk to you later.”

As they entered the building, they went their separate ways to their classrooms, excitement boiling up inside, and Kageyama spent the rest of the day trying to keep his thoughts from running rampant.

When Saturday finally rolled around, they had planned for Hinata to head home with Kageyama right after practice, but that day practice had been cancelled.  So now, they currently sat on Kageyama’s couch, watching an old kung-fu movie he had lying around, the awkward silence so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“So, um, where are your parents?” Hinata asked from the other side of the couch.

“Uh, they’re gone for the day to visit my aunt and uncle, won’t be back until later tonight.”

“Oh.”

“ _Alone.”_

Kageyama cleared his throat and did his best to watch the movie.  Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hinata fidgeting in his seat; he would reach for his glass of water on the coffee table, take a few big gulps and set it back down.  His fingers were constantly going, always fumbling with each other, that or his feet were insistently tapping to some beat in his head.

_He’s anxious._

Not that he could blame him as Kageyama was feeling rather antsy himself, but he did a much better job of hiding it.

Suddenly, Hinata was scooting over on the couch, coming closer and closer until finally leaning against Kageyama’s side and bringing his feet up onto the couch to curl them under him and lay them along the seat.  Kageyama reflexively lifted his arm so Hinata could snuggle in closer and lay his head on the dip of his shoulder as Kageyama wrapped his arm around him and rested his hand on his arm. 

“Is this okay?” Hinata asked, his brown, doe-like eyes staring up at him.

“Yeah, this is fine.”

“Good!” he said with a smile and turned his attention back to the movie.

Gently, Kageyama stroked Hinata’s arm with his thumb; he could feel his soft skin twitch under his touch and goosebumps form, but that only encouraged him to stroke more.  Hinata mimicked him, bringing his hand from his chest to rest it on Kageyama’s knee and using his fingers to lightly pet him.  It wasn’t nearly as effective since Kageyama was wearing jeans, at least, not until Hinata tentatively lowered his hand and rubbed at Kageyama’s thigh. 

It was such a simple gesture, lacking any sort of eroticism and yet those mere six inches had Kageyama’s heartbeat pulsing in his ears and his throat go dry.  He squeezed Hinata’s arm and pulled him in closer, if it were even possible, and swallowed what little saliva had gathered in his mouth.

_It’s so tense.  I want to kiss him.  I want to touch him more, but I feel like I can’t move.  What the hell, we’ve made out before, why am I so frigid now?_

“Ka…geyama?” Hinata’s voice cracked; he was definitely just as nervous as him.

“Y-yeah?”

Hinata lifted his head and looked up to meet Kageyama’s gaze, then his eyes dropped to his lips.

“ _—ant to kiss.”_

He closed in, his legs stretching on the couch to lift himself higher and Kageyama bent in, their lips closing in on each other until finally connecting; Kageyama sighed into the kiss, releasing all his nervousness inside that seemed to lock him up.  His hand came up to cup Hinata’s cheek and in turn, Hinata deepened their kiss and licked at Kageyama’s lips until they parted and their tongues slid together. 

In no time their kiss escalated, their once steady breathing picking up speed and deepening to rough exhales.  Hinata broke away for a short moment, resuming once he was sitting in Kageyama’s lap and instantly, the atmosphere around them changed.  There was the hum of the television in the background, the odd war cry breaking through the sounds of lip-smacking and heavy breathing, but at this point neither of them noticed.

“Haah…Kageyama.”

“Mmm.”

His hands slid straight to Hinata’s rear, groping handfuls and massaging the tender flesh through his khaki shorts and eliciting small groans of satisfaction from the smaller boy, who then returned the much needed touch with a small tug on Kageyama’s hair, something he never knew he liked.

“Ahh!  Hinata...” he whispered between their heated kiss.

“Nnh…”

“ _Make….—eel good”_

Hinata pulled away, wiping away the thin string of saliva that connected their moist lips, and gazed down at Kageyama’s crotch, his jeans now sporting a rather obvious tent.  His fingers moved briskly, working at his belt and zipper, the sound of clinking metal sounding sharper now than whenever Kageyama had ever undone them himself.  Kageyama’s pulse quickened and his stomach twisted with anxiety as he watched Hinata work the button free and slip his fingers underneath the waistband of his boxers.  His cold fingers wrapped around his hot cock as he pulled it out from his shorts, making Kageyama hitch his breath.

“Whoa, you’re really hard.”

“It’s your f-fault,” he mumbled and Hinata snickered in response.

He watched intently as Hinata’s hand (which turned out to be bigger than he imagined) gripped his shaft and pumped experimentally, pulling back his foreskin back and exposing the already slick glans before sliding it back over repeatedly.

“Hi...Hinata.  You, too.”

“Not yet.”

Hinata stopped and pulled away from Kageyama’s reaching hand as he left his lap and sunk to the floor to crouch in front of him; his hands pushed Kageyama’s knees apart and he shifted in closer, his eyes entirely focused on his standing cock.  It was then Kageyama realized what he was about to do and his heart jumped in his chest.

Hinata gulped and leaned in, one hand holding the base of his shaft, his tongue lolling out with a bead of saliva hanging in a thick gob at the end, and licked up the underside of Kageyama’s dick.  The resulting gasp and tightening grip in his hair boosted his confidence and he gave the tip a thick lick before pulling away. 

“ _Salty.”_

Kageyama blushed as Hinata churned his tongue in his mouth, tasting the remnants of his pre-cum, then dove back in to taste it again.  His lips closed around the head this time and he sucked on it _hard._ Kageyama covered his mouth as he groaned – he had never felt anything like this in his life, it was wet and hot and the suction was so breath-taking, he swore nothing could ever compare; but, as Hinata dipped down and tested out how much he could take in, a sudden sharpness took all that stupor away in one roaring swell and he swore loudly, effectively pushing Hinata away from him with his palm on his forehead.

“What the hell was that?!  That hurt!”

“Sorry!  My teeth hit!  I’m trying to focus on everything and I forgot about my teeth!”

“Don’t do it again!”

“Okay, okay, I won’t!”

Hinata went again, running his tongue over his lips to wet them and took as much as he could of Kageyama’s cock into his mouth until he gagged; admittedly, Kageyama thought the way his throat spasmed felt rather good, but now wasn’t the time to test it out since he didn’t want his very first blowjob to end with his crotch covered in vomit.

When he finally got the hang of the act, Kageyama relaxed into the cushions as the sweet warming pleasure gently pulsed through him, his hands remaining a constant presence in Hinata’s hair as he watched through half-lidded eyes.  Hinata bobbed his head slow and steady, taking his time and closing his eyes to properly enjoy the taste of his boyfriend’s thick dick, savouring its naturally salty taste as cum seeped onto his tongue in small droplets.  He finally had a handle on Kageyama’s foreskin and whenever he pushed it back with his lips as he dipped down, his tongue swiped over the exposed head and lip of the glans to add another spike of heat.  Every gasp and groan of Hinata’s name had pre-cum dripping out of his own cock and onto his shorts, leaving a dark stain on the front and making his groin ache with need as he lightly humped into nothing.

“Hinata…Hinata…s-stop, I’m gonna cum.”

“Mmf~”

Hinata planted his hands on Kageyama’s thighs to prevent himself from being pushed away and worked his mouth harder, bobbed his head faster, did whatever he could to egg on Kageyama’s orgasm and as a result, Kageyama insistently thrust into his mouth as his climax built up inside.

“Stop!  I’m gonna cum!  Fuck, Hinata!”

“Ish okay!  Jush do itd” he said with his mouth full

“Dumba—ah!  Ngh!” A low, loud groan fell from his lips and with a final thrust of his hips, he came in large spurts.  His hands painfully held on to Hinata’s hair and his whole body curled inwards around Hinata as he came; once the final strings were out of him, he collapsed back into the couch, wincing as Hinata pulled off. 

He saw Hinata panic, his mouth kept tightly closed as he searched for something, but what?

_Oh, shit.  He didn’t swallow._

At once, Kageyama reached for his semi-full glass on the table and handed it to Hinata, who then turned away and opened his mouth to let the watery semen run off his tongue and into the glass of water, spitting the last of it out before setting the glass on the table.

“Ugh!  So gross!”

“I told you I was going to cum!”

“It tasted good at first!  When I was sucking you off it wasn’t that bad, but a whole bunch of it at once is just…” Hinata shook and made a gagging sound and Kageyama scoffed.  He looked to the glass on the table and watched his semen swirl in the water like smoke – he had just received his first blowjob from his teammate, his _rival,_ Hinata Shoyou, and actually came in his mouth.  He tried to hide the smile that threatened to show.

“Kageyama?”

Hinata’s fragile voice broke him away and he looked down to see him staring up at him, a flush on his cheeks and his lips glistening with wetness, and his hard-on pushing painfully against the front of his shorts.

_We’re not done yet._

“Um, let’s go u-up…to my bedroom.”

Hinata nodded, helping Kageyama to tuck himself in his pants and together they cleaned up the living room and took their glasses with them.  Kageyama debated emptying his in the sink, but remembering what was inside he decided the toilet would be more sanitary.

The walk up the stairs was ominous, both boys knowing exactly what would happen when they entered and at this moment, Kageyama was thankful his power was dwindling away because if he had to listen to Hinata’s insistent worrying he wasn’t sure he’d be able to go through with what they were about to do.

As soon as Kageyama entered his room and set his glass down, Hinata was on him.  He shoved Kageyama against the door, stepped up on his tip-toes as much as he could, and crashed their lips together; his hands were everywhere -- in his hair, up his shirt, pulling at his waistband – Kageyama couldn’t keep track of where they went, but they left a trace of cold heat behind, sending jolts of excitement through him while his skin prickled with anticipation.

Kageyama pushed back with his own intensity, nipping at Hinata’s lips before lifting him up by his thighs, revelling in the tight squeeze as his legs wrapped around his waist, and walked over to the bed to fall onto it.  The pair grunted on the soft impact, but didn’t break their heated kiss.  Mouths opened and tongues slopped against each other, hands worked at belts and lifted shirts, leaving the pair naked and bare and the sweet feel of skin-on-skin had them both writhing against each other, each sporting a rock hard erection as their bodies rubbed.

“Kageyama, Kageyama…”

“Hinata, fuck.  It’s so hot,” he panted, reminding himself of the small trickles of sweat he could feel forming on his back.

“Y-yeah, it really is.  Um…”

_Um?_

Kageyama halted his grinding and reluctantly lifted himself away from Hinata until he was hovering just a few inches away, ignoring the lewd string of cum that stuck to Hinata’s abdomen.

“A-are we gonna, y’know…have sex?”

_Shit, he actually said it._

“Uh…”

He had planned for it, well they both did.  Hinata gave Kageyama his share of the cost for condoms and lubrication and they already both agreed it was something they wanted to do, so it was only a matter of time before this moment happened.

“I-if you wa-wa-want, uh, it’s, um,” he averted his eyes, unable to actually say it and his fists clenched and relaxed repeatedly next to Hinata’s head as he tried to get the words out.  Hinata noticed, _of course he did,_ and he loosely wrapped his arms around Kageyama’s neck, bringing him down to kiss him on his forehead.

“It’s okay, we’ll go slow.  Your parents won’t be back for a while, right?”

Kageyama nodded and held Hinata closer, relaxing his body against him and nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck.

“Then it’s fine, we can take our time.”

He hummed in approval and pecked tender kisses on his skin, eliciting soft giggles as he kissed his way up and along Hinata’s jawline.  It didn’t take much for them to get back into the mood and soon enough wandering hands found their way to hardened flesh and the sound of deep groans and high-pitched whines of pleasure filled the small bedroom.  Kageyama was beginning to feel the start of another orgasm building up, but a small tap on his shoulder stopped him.

“Where’s the lube?”

“Oh, in my dresser.  Hold on.”

Rising from the bed, Kageyama rummaged through his underwear drawer and pulled out the new bottle of lubrication as well as the box of condoms, then sat back down on the bed.  Hinata picked up the bottle and looked at it curiously, then the condoms once Kageyama opened the package and pulled out three.

“They’re bumpy?”  He pressed his thumbs onto the foil package in an attempt to feel out the bumps on the rubber.

“They were on sale, and the box says ‘infinite pleasure’, s-so y’know…”

_I thought it might feel good for you._

Hinata nodded and put the items next to the pillow on the bed, then guided Kageyama down onto his back before lying next to him on his side.  They resumed kissing, only this time at a much more hesitant pace; Kageyama experimented with biting Hinata’s lips and tongue while his thumbs tentatively stroked his nipples and rubbed at his pecs, which Hinata seemed to like since he arched his body into his touch sighed into his mouth.

_I guess I should start—_

“I guess I’ll start, huh?” Hinata said.

“Yeah.”

Hinata gulped and reached for the clear bottle of jelly; he shook it a few times to get the thick substance near the opening, then squeezed some onto two of his fingers.

_He’s going to do it himself?  That’s…kinda hot._

Satisfied with the amount, his hand reached down between them and out of view; his head dipped to Kageyama’s neck and began to lightly suck and kiss at his sensitive spot, making Kageyama sigh and roll into him. 

“It might hurt a bit,” he whispered.

“Huh?”

Suddenly, cold fingers were brushing past his thighs and slipping between his cheeks and he recoiled, pushing Hinata away and sitting up to back against the wall.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

“I’m getting you ready!  What do you think?!” Hinata sat up on his knees and held his wet hand up in front of him to avoid wiping it on the bedsheet.

“Getting **me** ready?  I thought you were getting ready!”

“Why me?!”

“I don’t know!  You’re smaller!”

“That’s doesn’t make me the bottom!”

“Yes it does!”

“Well I don’t want to be the bottom!”

“Neither do I!”

They sat in silence as all sensuality in the air deflated.  Both of them were expecting to top, so now what were they going to do?

“One of us has to be the, you know…’receiver’.”

“So then get yourself ready,” stated Kageyama curtly.

“No way, _King_!  That’s not fair, there should be a way to decide who goes first.”

“But what about after the first?  Are we just going to keep switching?”

“I guess?”

Kageyama thought on it.  He really didn’t like the idea of something being shoved inside him, but from the looks of it, neither did Hinata.  It really was only fair that they take turns.

“Fine, we switch each time.  So who goes first?”

“Um…do you want to…flip a coin?”

“This seems too important to leave up to a coin.  Let’s do Rock, Paper, Scissors.”

Hinata nodded in agreement and then inched closer together, fists at the ready and both focused and determined.  On three, they pumped their fists and…

“Yes!  I win.” Exclaimed Hinata as he opened and closed his two fingers that had formed his scissors.  Kageyama clicked his tongue; he’s never been one to have luck on his side, everything was always calculated.  They swung again, if Hinata won again…

_Fuck!_

“Aha, I’m the top~” Hinata chimed with his open hand clasped around Kageyama’s fist.  Kageyama griped with his teeth clenched.

“Okay Kageyama- _kuuun~,_ on your back,” Hinata crawled over into Kageyama’s lap, but was stopped by a hand on his bare chest.

“Wait, I’ll be the bottom but **only** if I get to, uh, t-take control.”

“What do you mean?” Hinata rocked back onto his legs and stared at Kageyama quizzically with his head cocked to one side.

“Just, uh,” there were those nerves again, “I can’t, um…just lay down.”

Hinata obeyed willingly, relaxing himself against the plushness of the duvet and waiting for Kageyama to make his move.  He crawled over, keeping his gaze averted, and straddled Hinata’s hips; it finally clicked for Hinata and his eyes opened wide, his jaw dropping as his hands went straight to Kageyama’s hips.

“No way, you’re going to ride me?!”

“Y-yeah, so stay still, got it?”

Hinata beamed and his thumbs excitedly stroked his hip bones.  Due to their…dispute…both of them had gone limp, but it seemed the very mention of Kageyama being on top had Hinata already semi-hard. 

_I need to catch up!_

Kageyama grabbed the lubrication and this time, poured it onto his two long fingers; Hinata watched every movement until his hand disappeared behind him, then his eyes flickered to his face to watch it twist in discomfort as the first finger pushed inside.  Kageyama grimaced and grunted, his wrist hurt from being twisted at a weird angle and his back end burned as he pushed himself open.

“Are you okay?” Hinata asked with a small squeeze of Kageyama’s hips.

“This is, ngh, supposed to feel good?”

“I guess so.  Well, why you’re back there I’ll just…work here.”

His hand slid to Kageyama’s front and palmed at his flaccid flesh; Kageyama gasped from the welcome touch and as Hinata’s hand massaged and stroked the hardening member, his pain ebbed away into pleasure and he was able to insert a second finger and this time, it was much more satisfying.

“Ahn—“ he moaned and Hinata gave his hard cock a squeeze in response to help further his pleasure.

“Kageyama…”

“Huh?  What is it?”  Through half-lidded eyes, Kageyama looked down to see Hinata staring up at him with sparkling eyes, cheeks flushed and smiling wide.

“You look so good right now.”  His free hand reached up to play with Kageyama’s nipples while his other stroked him harder; Kageyama bucked his hips and whimpered, actually _whimpered,_ from how good it all felt, how good it felt to be touched and stared at by Hinata, and he finally felt like he was ready.

Silently, he removed his fingers, giving them a wipe on a blank spot on the bed, and raised up.  Hinata snatched a nearby condom and put it on while Kageyama smeared more lubrication over himself, then together they moved until Hinata was pressing against Kageyama and…

“Ah—ahn!  K-Kageyama!”

“Sh—it!”

“Tight!  Ngh, haah~”

_Fuck, this really hurts.  I think I can keep going though._

He pushed on, taking inch by inch inside until he was finally seated against the base.  His entrance burned as it stretched around Hinata’s shaft and the heat seemed to spread up his spine and flourish out down his shoulders, prickling his skin and making him shiver.  He could feel Hinata squirming underneath him, rubbing his cock inside and getting a feel for the new sensation; it was definitely a foreign feeling, not to mention painful, but as Hinata rubbed his insides it was oddly…satisfying.

“ _…so hot”_

As they lay in the stillness of the room with only the sounds of heavy panting to fill it, Kageyama sat shaking with his head hanging low and hands resting on Hinata’s heaving chest; meanwhile, Hinata softly continued stroking his cock and feeling over his chest and waist, doing whatever he could to ease the pain.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m f-fine, haah, I’m going to try moving.”

Hinata nodded and this time, both his hands went to Kageyama’s hips, acting as support and comfort as Kageyama slowly raised himself up about an inch, then slid back down; together, they moaned and sighed, and each time he raised, Kageyama lifted up more and more until finally he could go to the very tip before bringing himself back down.  With that, he was able to work on setting a steady pace, and before he knew it he was fluidly riding Hinata’s cock.

“Oh fu—ahn!  Shit!”

“Kage—yama, oh God, s-so—don’t stop!  Ahn, ahn, ah!” 

The bed creaked beneath them, the air grew stuffy with the heat they made, and their bodies shined with sweat as they lewdly slapped together.  Kageyama could feel beads of it trickling down his back, could feel the plastic of the condom rubbing his insides and for a moment he wished it was Hinata’s skin, his heat and his flesh touching him in his most intimate part as he slid up and down his insatiably hard erection.  Any and all pain from before was gone, replaced by a soothing heat that flowed through his body and out his mouth in the form of low groans and sweet sighs of Hinata’s name.  In the midst of it all, he could hear his own name being chanted, over and over by the boy he had hated only a few months prior, his high-pitched whines egging him on to ride faster, slam harder, squeeze tighter, and he wanted to make all those wishes come true, he wanted to make him feel good.

_I want to make him cum._

“Sh…sho…yo, unh!  You feel-- so _fucking--_ good!”  Kageyama squeezed with all his might as he pulled up, then again when he slammed himself down.  His hands left Hinata’s chest, now he was able to move without having to support himself, and instead they went to his crotch and he fervently jerked himself in time with his movements while one hand kept Hinata’s firmly planted on his hip, loving the exposed feeling as Hinata watched on with hazy eyes and his mouth hanging open with the slightest smirk.

“Ngh!  Ah, T-Tobio!  Tobio, I’m close!  I’m gonna, unh!”

Hinata met his movement with a mild thrust, even though Kageyama had told him to stay still, that order was impossible now.  His hands gripped his hips harshly, but neither of them noticed as all their attention was focused on their union, on their hips colliding and his cock delving deep inside and bringing insurmountable amounts of pleasure to the both of them.

“Fuck, Shoyo, Shoyo, haah, ahn ahn!  I’m…I’m!!”

One last hit and Kageyama’s vision went white and spotty, his eyes shutting tight as he came hard in short bursts, creating a silky white mess on Hinata’s chest and moaning through clenched teeth; following shortly after, he felt Hinata thrust up into him and stop, his own long whine filling the room as he emptied himself. 

Kageyama fell forward, hands on the bed next to Hinata, and they basked in their afterglow with a drawn out kiss, their tongues lolling together and lips seeking out the other’s.  As they came down, they mustered up what little energy remained and pulled apart; Hinata was surprisingly quick to tie the condom close with a knot and excused himself from the bed to toss it away in the garbage by Kageyama’s television before returning to his side and snuggling up close.  Kageyama lay on his stomach, so Hinata wrapped a leg over his waist and nuzzled up next to him.

“Wow, we actually did it.  We had _sex.”_

Kageyama hummed; all of a sudden, he felt immensely tired.

“Are you okay?  It hurt, huh?  Did you get ‘infinite pleasure’ from the condoms?” he mocked.

Kageyama scoffed and shook his head, “No, it just felt like a condom, and of course it hurt, stupid.  But yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good, I’m glad. Thank you for having sex with me!”  Hinata leaned forward and pecked Kageyama on the lips.

“Dumbass,” Kageyama returned the kiss, “you don’t thank people for that, especially your boyfriend.”

“ _We’re boy—“_

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, you just don’t.”

“Hmm...”

Hinata seemed to be contemplating it, so Kageyama turned to face away and let his eyes close, ready for sleep to take him.  It was at that moment the sun broke through the clouds and shone straight onto him and he clicked his tongue before burying his face in his pillow.

“Oh yay!  The sun’s out!  I love the sun!” Hinata exclaimed as he hopped up on his knees to peer out the window.

Kageyama peeked out from his pillow and saw Hinata’s usual cheery face, his eyes seeming to sparkle from the sunlight; he could feel his heart flutter in his chest and a soft fuzziness seemed to blossom out.

“Yeah, me too.”

Hinata smiled down at him, then joined his side and resuming their cuddling position.

“ _I love you.”_

Kageyama smiled as their eyes met.  The past month was filled with all kinds of torment from the moment he first got his ability and while he was grateful it was going away, he knew he would miss moments like this, when he could know things about Hinata in a way no one else could.

_I love you, too._

In that instant, Hinata’s smile faded and his eyes went wide.

“What?”

“Tobio…I heard that.”

His heart dropped.  _He heard what?_

“Y-you h-hearf—hear—heard—“  He couldn’t believe it, there was no way.  Had his power passed on to Hinata?

“Sh-Shoyo, you—“

Suddenly, his frown broke and Hinata laughed out loud, slapping Kageyama on his back as he rolled about.

“I’m joking!  You should have seen your face!  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look that pale before!”

“DUMBASS!”

Lifting up, Kageyama grabbed the only pillow nearby and began slamming Hinata with it.  He cried out in protest with his arms raised, but they couldn’t break through his obnoxious laughter and his eyes actually started watering from it.

“Stop!  Stop!  I’m gonna die!”

“Good!”

“That’s mean!”

Hinata grabbed his shorts and retaliated, so in return Kageyama tackled him and they ended up tumbling onto the floor carelessly.  Somehow, their fight ended with them cuddling, Hinata wrapped in Kageyama’s arms and Hinata nuzzling his face into his chest.

“Don’t ever leave me, okay?”

“That’s obvious isn’t it?  And the same goes for you, I won’t allow it.”

“Sure, sure, I won’t leave you,” Hinata chuckled and snuggled in closer.

If being with Hinata meant endless volleyball and meatbuns and cuddling on the floor naked after pillow fights, then there was no way Kageyama would ever leave his side.  Even when his power finally left for good, he felt like he finally understood him enough to know how to care for him and how to support him – he was ready for anything.

 


End file.
